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The wedding that changed my life

The wedding that changed my life.  Too many butts
The wedding that changed my life. Too many butts
internet/Rus Pishnery

In the past few weeks several alert readers have pointed out that I may be a tad sexist in some of my recipes and slideshow pictures I have posted. Allow me to respond.

The wedding that changed my life
internet/Rus Pishnery

Nothing could be further from the truth. As a five time veteran of failed marriages I assure you I have nothing but the utmost respect for women, chicks, broads and hotties of all race, creed and color.

Case in point.

I recently returned as a guest at the Kanye-Kim wedding, a lavish affair held in somebody’s backyard at the Forte di Belivedere outside Florence, Italy. As weddings go it was okay, not as cool as my third wedding held on the deck of the Starship enterprise in fabulous Las Vegas. The food was pretty good too, but not as good as the buffet at Circus Circus after my second wedding in Vegas.

Anyway, as I was jetting home aboard a TWA jet liner I got to thinking about how the wedding changed my views.

I use to be a butt man when it came to BBQ. Massage a dry rub on a pork butt overnight and throw it on the smoker for twelve or fourteen hours. Then pull it and pig out on pulled pork for the next couple of days. Butt after watching Kim Kardashian walk down the aisle and catching an eyeful of her rear end, I became a changed man.

Now I’m a breast man.

I like throwing two or three duck breasts on the grill to make a warm refreshing summer salad. The key I think is to brine the duck, or even any fowl overnight in my famous brining mixture.


½ Cup Kosher Salt

1 Pt. Pineapple Orange Juice

1 Pt. Apple Cider

½ Cup Whole Mixed Peppercorns

1 Bunch, Fresh Thyme

5 Garlic Cloves, Smashed

1 Onion, Cut in Half

Combine all the ingredients in a large bucket and submerge the fowl. Cover and let sit refrigerated overnight.

When the breasts are brined, pat them dry, fire up the grill and sear them over high heat about three or four minutes a side. Remove them, let them rest, and slice thinly. I lay my breasts on a bed of arugula and sprinkle some goat cheese over it and garnish it up with sliced avocado and cherry tomato. Use any kind of light vinaigrette or dressing you like.

This brine is so cool for good tasting duck I jotted it down on a cocktail napkin and slipped it inside the four-slice toaster I gave the happy couple for a wedding gift. I hope they like it.

Check out the slideshow for some highlights of the big wedding and remember, I am not sexist.

Next week; Cheese Nips.

So long everybody.

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