Why are we Rushing Relationships?
Has the fast paced high tech digital world made us so fast and accustomed to instant gratification that we now are applying that to our interpersonal and romantic relationships as well? What’s the rush, is my feeling… as I continuously remind myself to dial back when I start to feel like rushing. When people around me (who also don’t happen to be in flourishing happy healthy relationships mind you) question the time that I put into / allow for a relationship to develop and unfold… So we are taking it slow... how long do you think it really takes someone to reveal their true self to you?
What about back in the day when communication wasn’t so readily available and people actually spent years sometimes just corresponding to each other through letters, getting to know the inner depths of each other’s souls, their fears, their feelings, want’s, need’s, desires… just to find out if they are even in line at all with yours.
Opposite’s do attract and we can learn different amazing things and experience attributes in partners that balance us out through their differences, and then there are foundation pieces like “Do we both want children” “are we both passionate about our value system and monogamy” etc. that are SUPER important. Yes… these things can be revealed through a shorter period of time in pieces, but then there are the bigger pieces that will only fall into place during the course of longevity in getting to know someone. How do they handle your emotional conflicts or bumps in the road? Are they able to stay steady and dedicated and persistent.. over the course of time as it progresses, do you go deeper?
If you can at a slow pace see that you have moved forward through getting to know each other, and that the richness and depth of your connection continues to develop, grow and blossom, and you continue to bond, trust, respect and fall for your partner… that is a really good sign for a lifetime of happiness, that let’s face it, as much as we’d like to…we can’t force or rush.
Through experiencing our partners patience, persistence, dedication and love we will begin to develop deep and important bonds that are truly necessary in order to make it through a marriage…. That has ups and downs, like everything in life… if you don’t have a strong foundation to fall back upon, then it’s like a castle built on sand that will crumble. So slowwww down my loves… enjoy the beauty that is the back road in a relationship… taking it slow…building up the love and the sensations, getting to REALLY know who the other person is and witnessing their presence and consistence will answer shaky questions that tend to come up and cause problems in the beginning of a relationship such as jealousy, fear of abandonment, questioning your partners love, etc. Take the time to work out the kinks as well, and then one day…when the time is right with the one that you are now totally comfortable and obviously mutually in love with, have that glass of champagne together as the sunsets smile and toast into your BEAUTIFUL life full of richness of ALL the amazing things of meaning like friendship, family, connection, trust, LOVE. Knowing that it’s all perfect, and thanking yourself for taking the time to truly develop that love.
If you’re like but Ashley, I just can’t seem to stay committed to one partner… my advice is…truly reflect in on yourself and your feelings about your worthiness for love, and also know that when you meet the right one, you will. As cliché as that sounds, when you truly truly love an amazing inspired incredible person who see’s and values you…(even when they have their moments as we ALL do…perfect as in perfect for you not I never make mistakes, etc.)you will WANT to do the work it takes to work it out, no matter what that means, and every time you pass another hurdle and make it to another level together, you will be gratefully inspired and deeper and deeper in love with this person who is brave enough to stand next to you on this wild ride that is life as your partner.
Take your time. Xo