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The Upstairs Window

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As Tom Hatch stares our of his second floor window images flash before his eyes. Like looking through a kaleidoscope he sees Nancy a dark haired beauty who was the love of his life back when he was young standing on the soft sandy shore. Eyes that sparkled like radiant diamonds shining through the moonlight. A time of great joy brought Tom back into a realm of reality that he long forgot. A warm feeling now rushed over as the memories of those glorious summer days now a haunting reminder of what could have been.

They say life is but a journey. Destination unknown when starting out. But, for Tom he had always seemed to know just where he wanted to go. Even as a child whose childhood dreams somehow preordained the path he was to take. Going back now in memory where those childhood years embodied a perseverance an individualistic streak somehow though not consciously knowing but his path was already laid out. Even as a youth the decisions he made reflected a selflessness that nobody could quite understand. A willingness to put other persons feelings ahead of your own so often landed Tom in hot water, yet again.

Tom continued to look into the emptiness of time and space where no moonlight was to be seen. He kept seeing images reappearing in his conscious thoughts. Images of glory days where athletic achievements came like waves of water crashing over rocky shores. Each wave embodied personal athletic achievements that have remained affixed in memory.

It must have been around midnight when Tom suddenly emerged from the memories of his past. Brought back to a reality far removed from his life that was so fulfilling. As Tom turned away from that window he now was faced with the emptiness all around. Pondering for a moment contemplating how he managed to arrive at this point so late in life with nothing but memories. Alone again.

Was it fate, a predetermined set of circumstances or just plain dumb luck that Tom whose life had just passed before him is now so alone. Remembering a Dean Martin song that clearly underscores the condition in life that is now Tom's realm of reality. " You're nobody unless somebody loves you. You're nobody unless somebody cares" pretty well sums it up. For Tom he actually was somebody but that somebody now is nobody. Alone again it seems, naturally.

As the night lingers on Tom's thoughts drift back and forth recounting the days of triumphs and defeats. Of anguish and sorrow amidst the joy and jubilation of wondrous and yet bittersweet memories of by gone years. Colligate years full of rebellious tones yet ever so mindful of a career that laid ahead. Of parents so stubborn so steadfast in ideals where any deviation was considered taboo. Yet, Tom held fast his own convictions and for the second love of his life that life line was severed and was cast adrift into the sea of life. At first it was calm sailing but soon storm clouds came rolling in. Memories of those years now flowed like a river toward it's final destination.

Just as Tom was about to turn on a light he glanced out the window one last time hoping to see a bright shinning star that would remind him once again of a time so distant where the pain has long since vanished. The forgotten tears of sorrow and remorse have now resurfaced as he gazed once more out that window into the starless night. As Tom slumped into that easy chair again tears began to swell remembering now he is alone with no one to love and no love returned has set him apart from the world around.

Tom has always had a stubborn streak like his father and yet managed all his life to persevere in spite of great adversity either on the athletic field and in life that carried him over the hurdles which were always in the way. Sure mistakes were made along the way either in decisions made where actions taken only proved disastrous or being too cautious and not taking up that challenge where that door of opportunity remained unopened. But, now Tom has reached the Autumn of his years where memories are all that remain. The challenges that were met head on now have given way to a peace of mind that Tom did live his life his way. Now, as Tom turned to turn out the light before closing his eyes in bittersweet slumber gazed once again out that window. Those distant thoughts now linger in memories. But out that window where memories beckon now disappointment settles in for there is nothing that appears but the still darkness of the night.