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The upside of keeping your relationship private

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After 11 years in the NFL, defensive back Nnamdi Asomugha retired Friday. Most NFL veterans go into real estate, coaching, or the restaurant/nightlife business. Asomugha can go home and be a family man because he's married to one of the most popular and likable actresses in Hollywood; Kerry Washington.

With all of the fanfare Scandal has and the heavy appearance schedule Washington keeps, there's not one photo on Google of them together. They kept their 2013 wedding ceremony under tight wraps. According to Washington, a very public break-up taught the lesson that future relationships wouldn't be for public consumption. Much of the media didn't even know the two were dating because she's never mentioned him until this year. That being said, there's a few takeaways on why keeping your relationship private has benefits.

You don't have any explaining to do: The newlyweds are expecting a child in 2014. And with Asomugha's retirement, it may become common to see shots of them out and about like normal married and expecting couples. But it's an enormous weight off your shoulders when you don't have to answer probing questions about your relationship. Often times, the awkward "we need to talk" texts come from outsiders asking you questions that you don't have the answer to.

People remember your failures: There's a need for couples today to share everything they do together. Fancy dinners, the gym, and selfies are all evidence of a couple at their best. When you have a fight or disagreement, it's natural to share that too. People will latch on to those vulnerable moments. Those closest to you may even use it as ammunition to talk negatively about your significant other and the relationship. The less people know, good or bad, the more protection you have.

Your relationship needs to grow on its own: If you're someone who's had terrible luck in the love department or the type who's a serial monogamist, everybody knows when you're dealing with someone new. When your relationship is such a focal point of weekly brunches and Gchats, there's a lot of room for you to over-think and over-analyze. New relationships especially need the time and space to develop and be cultivated. It's hard to do that when there are numerous microscopes looking for the imperfections.

Honestly, nobody cares!: The irony is knowing Kerry Washington is married to a football player hasn't helped or hurt her popularity. Neither of them are posting on Instagram about date nights and pulling outfits for awards shows. So they're an anomaly in general. The vast majority of people, though, don't give much energy to keeping tabs on everyday relationships around them. Some actually find it irritating when a couple overshares and constantly brags about their significant other.

Understand that keeping your relationship private isn't the same thing as keeping it a secret. You should have pride in your significant other. People should know that you're taken and you're fulfilled. Contrary to what the "norm" is, it's a good thing to be a private person. Not everybody should have access to the inner workings of your personal life. If you're happy, you're happy and that's all that should be important.



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