The unlikely Jeremy London kidnapping saga continues: London and wife both undergoing drug testing

Jeremy London and his wife, who had a run-in with two kidnappers last week...or did they?

Well, for the past week, people with very little to do have been following the epic saga of Mallrats star Jeremy London, his kidnapping, and the bizarre stories that have followed in its wake. First, there was the report that he'd been kidnapped and forced to smoke crack at gunpoint. Then, we discovered that his family kinda-sorta wasn't buying what he was selling. Next, we learned that London-- who's had drug problems in the past-- is regularly undergoing drug testing. Most recently, we learned that his wife was kindly driven home in the middle of London's kidnapping by the kidnappers. Now, we learn that both London and his wife are undergoing drug testing following her crashing a car into a 7-11 a few weeks ago with her kid in the car. Oh, and they no longer have custody of their child. Does anyone else believe their original story? Let's look at the details below, my gentle Examiner readers...

At this point, it's become very hard to believe the story being told by Seventh Heaven and Mallrats star Jeremy London and his wife, Melissa. Late last week, it was reported that the two had been kidnapped at gunpoint by two assailants while changing a tire. London's wife claims to have been driven home in the middle of the kidnapping, though, so if we're to believe her story, she didn't have to suffer through being forced to smoke crack at gunpoint before being driven to a liquor store, forced to buy booze, and then driven to a ghetto area of Palm Springs to distribute the purchases. But now this information has come in:

RadarOnline.com has learned that Melissa also had a problem with prescription pills and was in rehab. The couple’s troubled relationship and drug problems caused them to lose custody of their son, Lyrik, 3, and Melissa’s mom has been raising the child.

RadarOnline.com has also learned that Melissa crashed a car into a Palm Springs 7-Eleven a few weeks ago with her young son in the car. Jeremy London and his wife Melissa have lost custody of their son and are both being drug tested regularly, RadarOnline.com has learned exclusively.

OK, that's it. I'm going on the record as saying this story is total shenanigans. When the original story broke and an arrest was made in connection with the "kidnapping", there seemed to be no reason not to believe what the Londons had to say-- despite the fact that it was, truth be told, a fantastical story-- but as more and more details have leaked out, this thing sounds like total nonsense. Is there anyone left out there that actually believes what the Londons are saying? And what of the "kidnapper" who was arrested? Will he continue to be held-- and ultimately charged in a court of law-- for the kidnapping?

It's become obvious that these two are up to something, and it all very likely revolves around the fact that their child has been taken away from them. Let me put on my Columbo hat and venture a guess here: London decided that he wanted to get a little high, but because the state's been drug-testing the pair (following his wife's crashing an effing car into a convenience store with a child onboard), a story would need to be invented in case the drugs were located in his urine. Or blood. Or hair, or whatever it is that they're using to test the actor. They concoct an elaborate, hard-to-believe story involving the two unlikeliest kidnappers that seem ripped out of a Three Stooges episode, and now they're having to dodge all the obvious questions their story begs. What do you guys think? Guilty or not guilty? And what of the fate of that imprisoned "kidnapper"? What do you guys think will happen there? Sound off below, folks!

That's all we've got for you for now, folks, but stay tuned for more as it becomes available. In the meantime, we've got all manner of funny videos, news, reviews, interviews, recaps, funny pictures, and more to keep you entertained all summer long, so hit the "Subscribe" button up top to get all of it delivered straight to your inbox, free of charge, the moment it's published. Why, if that wasn't enough, we've also got some other recent Comedy Examiner articles for you to look over while you're here:

WELL, THAT'S UNLIKELY: NUDE PHOTOS OF BETTY WHITE UP FOR SALE IN HOLLYWOOD (WITH PHOTO THAT YOU WON'T BE ABLE TO UN-SEE)-- in which Betty White finally achieves something every actress in Hollywood works towards: a sex scandal. Bonus: censored photo of Betty White from the 40's cannot be unseen.

AND NOW THERE'S THIS: HUSTLER IS RELEASING A 3D "AVATAR" PORN PARODY-- in which we learn that Hustler has their fingers on the pulse of America's...well, the stuff that America likes. Also, "Avatar".

EPIC D0UCHEBAG PEREZ HILTON GOES ON TELEVISION TO DEFEND POSTING UPSKIRT PICTURE OF MILEY CYRUS (WITH VIDEO)-- in which we watch video of Perez Hilton being not just a d0uchebag, but one who can't even face the reality of the situation he's in. It's amazing.

FUNNY VIDEO: SECRET SCENE DELTED FROM "TOY STORY 3" ARRIVES ONLINE, FEATURES A TALKING PS3 (WITH VIDEO)-- in which we look at a deleted scene from "Toy Story 3" where we find out what toy Andy's been playing with for the last five years. Hint: it's in the title of the damn article.