Disclaimer: The following article is sarcasm free.
It's February 3rd, 2013. That's right: Super Bowl Sunday! The pinnacle of all professional sports gatherings is finally here signaling the denouement of another football season. It's been a year of ups and downs for your favorite team, the Baltimore Ravens but they persevered, bolstered by the inspiration of star linebacker/God fearing preacher/once upon a time alleged murderer Ray Lewis, who has recoverd from a torn triceps (an injury that would end the typical player's season - if not career) in a matter of weeks to lead your team to the precipice of football immortality.
As game time approaches, you join your comrade in arms Mr. Lewis in your #52 Purple NFL official team Ravens jersey in scoffing at reporters allegations that #52 in question took performance enhancing drugs in order to make this most super of Sundays possible. Little could you have known at this precise moment that you could use a heavy dose of those alleged PED's to get through your upcoming work week and it all begins with the following day, Monday - which should be labeled Super Bowl Monday and should be designated as a national holiday no different than New Years Day, Labor Day, Independence Day or any other day we hold sacred for celebrations held dear to our hearts.
The Super Bowl is one of those special occasions. Is it not? It's a staple of our popular culture and we employ journalists to cover its happenings with the due diligence we normally reserve for paparazzi or other scandal seeking bloodhounds. As sports fans, we then proceed to indulge ourselves into the event like bloodhounds - only we're not seeking scandal (unless you want to include Janet Jackson nipplegate), we're seeking self-absorption in the event/the commercials/the half-time show/the Puppy Bowl/the beer/the pizza/the wings/the hookers etc. to the point where we're experiencing a collective state of ultra sensory overload...and when that happens, that's right: Crash!
The only medication to relieve a hangover like that is Super Bowl Monday, our new National Holiday! So enjoy my christening of this special day and if your boss asks you why you're not at work give them this memo and thank me later. Oh yeah, and wipe that barbeque sauce off your jersey.