The stupidest, silliest, dumbest and most over-hyped NASCAR stories of 2009

While everyone seems to want to tout the biggest NASCAR stories of 2009, I decided to look at the oddball stories of 2009, those stories that got more attention then they deserved, or were just plain stupid.

Here they are in a somewhat chronological, but in reality no real particular order because that would be well, just plain dumb.

Bruton Smith Calls For TV Blackouts: The dumb started way before the first car hit the track. During the annual NASCAR media tour in Charlotte, Speedway Motorsports Incorporated CEO Bruton Smith advocated that NASCAR actually consider have NFL style television blackouts in the markets where races aren’t sold out.

“I have not (talked to NASCAR), but that’s exactly what should happen,” he said. “It’s worked for the NFL, so you’ve had somebody who’s been a forerunner there that’s done it. And they’ve done it successfully, so why not go ahead and match it?”

At a time when tracks were struggling to fill seats and fans were worried about just paying their mortgage, Smith wanted to give people a reason not only to NOT watch NASCAR but actually think about attending a race.

I Had That Degree Here Somewhere: Bruton Smith wasn’t the only member of the Smith clan to make the stupid list. His son Marcus, who had been installed as the head honcho at Lowe’s Motor Speedway in May of 2008, was forced to answer to a report that said he didn’t actually have the college degree listed on his bio. Not that he actually did answer.

A press release from SMI announcing his appointment said he graduated from UNC with a Bachelor of Arts degree in advertising.

Barry Minkow co-founder of the Fraud Discovery Institute, a San Diego-based licensed private investigator, discovered one little inconsistency in Smith’s background; he never earned a degree a fact that the university backed up.

“The university registrar’s office does not show that this person has earned a degree from this university,” spokesman Mike McFarland said in an interview with Bloomberg.

According to McFarland, Smith attended for four years, majoring in journalism and mass communications, according to school records. Privacy laws did not allow disclosing why a student didn’t graduate.

“I attended the University of North Carolina at Chapel Hill from 1992 through 1996 and believe I had the proper credits for graduation,” Smith said in a statement. “I’m checking with the university now for clarification.”

Nearly a year later and the world is still waiting on that ‘clarification’.

NASCAR Gets A Little Too Back To Its Roots: In 2008 NASCAR made it clear they wanted to get back to their roots. Unfortunately they didn’t want that to include their history of running moonshine. In late April a former NASCAR driver was arrested and charged with making non-tax paid liquor, as well as one count of possessing ingredients to manufacture and possessing equipment to manufacture non-tax paid liquor. By the way that’s the legal speak for making moonshine.

Dean Combs, 57, was charged after agents from the North Carolina State Division of Alcohol Law Enforcement along with deputies from the Wilkes County Sheriff's Office raided the property and found a still that had a capacity of 300 gallons per run, with about 1,150 gallons of corn mash in the “working” stage.

After trying to figure out what to do with the still, deputies finally called the bomb squad. Combs himself then moved the still to a safe area before it was blown up.

Combs said authorities actually praised his moonshine.

“They even bragged on it, said they’d never seen spring water that clear,“ he said. “I said, ‘You need to put a label on it and stick it in the store.‘“

“It’s something I was always interested in,“ Combs added. “I wanted to see if I could make something drinkable. I guess I gave someone a quart I shouldn’t have.“

Combs raced in NASCAR’s top series from 1981-84. He was a five time Goody’s Dash Series champion and crew chief for car owner Junior Johnson. In an ironic historical footnote, Johnson got his start in racing running moonshine in the 1940’s and 50’s. He also served a brief stint in jail for the crime.

NASCAR Fans Welcomed, Um Except Here: It’s a NASCAR tradition as old as football tailgating. Hanging out in the infield during a race weekend is many a NASCAR fans idea of a perfect time. It’s a tradition that can happen at every NASCAR track on the circuit, except Dover International Speedway, which decided in April that it would close their infield to fans.

“As we evaluated the attendance in that area, year-to-year, it continued to decrease and didn't make sense from a business perspective to continue to operate it,” said Gary Camp, Director of Public Relations at Dover. “Every year, the numbers were essentially cut in half from the prior year. Around 100 customers paid to park in the infield for the Sept. 2008 NASCAR Sprint Cup Series race.”

Kudos to Dover for thinking outside the box. During a year when tracks were struggling to fill seats and searching for innovative ways to draw fans to the speedway, Dover actually gave fans an excuse NOT to attend.

Talladega Chicken Dance Ruffles Feathers: An attempt to earn a place in the Guinness Book of World Records at Talladega Superspeedway, as part of the April NASCAR Aarons 499 activity didn’t leave a bit of egg on the face of track officials

KFC sponsored an attempt to have at least 125,000 NASCAR fans do the ‘chicken dance’ at the largest track on the NASCAR circuit.

But the radical and often controversial animal activist group People for the Ethical Treatment of Animals, PETA, protested the attempt and urged officials from Guinness and the Speedway to ignore the record, alleging that KFC was cruel to chickens.

KFC denied the allegations, and track officials went ahead with the attempt and thousands of fans chicken danced their way into the record books. And no doubt ate a ton of chicken wings afterwards.

Mayfield Gets His Ticket To Ride Taken Away: NASCAR instituted a new drug testing policy in the new year and while several crewmembers were popped and suspended for the use of banned substances, their stories paled in comparison to the positive drug test for driver Jeremy Mayfield in early May.

NASCAR said Mayfield had tested positive for an unnamed but banned substance and immediately suspended him indefinitely. Claming his innocence, Mayfield insisted the positive result came from a combination of over the counter allergy medicine and a prescription drug he took for Attention Deficit Disorder. Supporters of Mayfield, largely comprised of ‘fringers’ those fans who tend to go against anything NASCAR tries to do, rallied behind their driver although several subsequent positive tests given by Mayfield lessened their numbers.

The debate became a tangled web of accusations, denials and unsubstantiated reports. Reports that included an affidavit that purported to have several eyewitnesses to Mayfield’s use of crystal meth for several years, and included his mother in law who was later arrested after allegedly showing up at Mayfield’s door inebriated. According to a police report, the mother in law was banging on the door and threatening Mayfield.

For his part Mayfield filed several lawsuits, against NASCAR accusing them of defamation and against his mother in law accusing her of, among other things, murdering his father. The ‘fringers’ meanwhile accused NASCAR of all sorts of things including doctoring the results of Mayfield’s tests in an effort to force him from the sport. Mayfield meanwhile had to contend with lawsuits filed against him from lawyers who hadn’t been paid, and suppliers as well. Mayfield hired a new law team in the fall and auctioned off some property in an effort he said to pay his mounting debts.

No matter which side fans leaned towards, the debate raged as the spring turned into summer dominating the headlines. The lawsuits are still winding their way through the courts with the first actual trial not scheduled to get underway until late in 2010.

‘Tell-All’ Book Turns Out To Really Say Nothing At All: On the heels of the Mayfield affair, or according to some in an effort to ride the wave of momentum from it, a former NASCAR reporter published a ‘tell-all’ book. According to charges brought forth; NASCAR was once controlled by the Mafia, that the sport was once used as the basis for a large drug smuggling operation and the current NASCAR CEO was a drug abuser and even busted for drug possession and that the charge was somehow ‘hushed’ up. It was further charged that when NASCAR took a race away from the state where the drug possession offense allegedly occurred, officials there were ready to ‘expose all’.

A quick check of the facts however found that the charges were in fact based on hearsay. Calls to law enforcement authorities in South Carolina (which indeed lost a second race at Darlington several years prior), could find no official, on or off the record, who actually had anything to expose. A further check of arrest records (which by law have to be made public) from the time mentioned in the book could find no evidence that such an offense occurred.

Since the few ‘witnesses’ mentioned in the book are in fact deceased, no one could substantiate any of the charges made by the author, although one phone call to the son of one of the men said he had never even heard his father talk about anything remotely related to anything allegedly witnessed in the book. The book did provide further fodder for the ‘fringers, whose arguments fell on mostly deaf ears, while the author no doubt enjoyed his royalty checks.

DW Gets Mean: Once a fierce competitor with the nickname ‘Jaws’, Darrell Waltrip has mellowed over the years. Fans now know him as the ‘golly-gee-wow’ guy who sits in the anchor booth during Fox Sports coverage of NASCAR Races and is generally a friendly ambassador for the sport. One of his trademark sayings in the booth has been the phrase ‘Boogity-Boogity-Boogity, let’s go racin’ boys!’ whenever the green flag drops. And while the phrase may make some fans cringe, the words got one Canadian man in hot water and showed fans another side of good old DW.

In September, Randy Nicholson, a long-time racing fan, was forced to change the name of his tiny memorabilia shop under the threat of a lawsuit by Waltrip who accused Nicholson who of infringing on a trademark Waltrip claims he has on the word ‘boogity’.

Nicholson initially called his business Boogity Boogity Boogity Racing, and then later changed the name to Boogity Sportswear.

"My first instinct was that I was going to fight (him), but I don't have the means,'' Nicholson said, adding that it would cost him between $5,000 and $8,000 to register a new name, put up signs, change his business cards and letterhead, order new checks, change the way his phone is listed, and set up a new website.

“Whether Mr. Nicholson is a small business owner or the owner of a large corporation is irrelevant to the matter,” said Waltrip’s longtime business manager Van Colley. “You simply can't take some one's legally trademarked intellectual property and attempt to profit from it.”

No word if the management of singer Ray Stevens, who first used the word in the song ‘The Streak’ in 1974, would sue Waltrip.

Yo Quiero Juan Pablo? In a case of political correctness gone wild, in October as Denny Hamlin was holding off Jimmie Johnson for the win at Martinsville, a NASCAR story broke that started at a football game.

Fox commentator and former Miami Dolphin Bob Griese made a quip after a network NASCAR promo about Juan Pablo Montoya out eating a taco. A member of the NASCAR media heard the remark and it wasn’t long before the Internet was a buzz. By the end of the game Griese had made two apologies and by Monday the network had suspended him.

Montoya’s response?

“Football coach? I don't know who it is,” he said after the Martinsville race. “Somebody mentioned it to me. I don't really care to tell you the truth. Yeah, I don't. I could say I spent the last three hours eating tacos, but I was actually driving a car. But that's okay, I don't care.”

He Said What? In a case of think before you speak in October former crew chief turned TV analyst Larry McReynolds took part in a round table discussion that included former drivers Kyle Petty and Jimmy Spencer.

The moderator, veteran journalist Dustin Long, got the trio to discuss the state of NASCAR today.

During the course of the conversation, McReynolds talked down about one of the most respected members of the media, longtime NASCAR reporter David Poole. Poole wasn’t actually able to defend himself due to the fact that he had died unexpectedly in April.

“The man we buried back in the spring, God rest him, great friend, I’m telling you he never wrote anything positive about our sport. Never,” McReynolds said. Later he added. “Like I said, I miss him so much…but if I read his articles enough, I probably would question that I picked the right profession to make a living in.”

The comments drew the ire of many including NASCAR officials, fans and even Poole’s widow.

Richard Petty Will Burn In The Fires Of Hell: While perusing Al Gore’s Internet I stumbled across a church website that said NASCAR King Richard Petty already had a place waiting for him in Hell.

So what did Petty do? According to the Amazing Grace Baptist Church’s take on the sinful transgression that earned Petty his everlasting damnation was a quote by Petty that said, “Quick as my kids got out of the hospital, took 'em to the racetrack.”

They added ‘As a public figure Richard Petty makes it clear that the two most important things in his life are his family and his fans. “I don't particularly tell my guys to cheat. I just tell them not to get caught.” Richard Petty’s god is racing, not God Almighty.

He teaches that is okay in life to cheat just don’t get caught doing it. Is Richard Petty your idol?’

My answer was of course, he’s my idol along with being an idol to millions of NASCAR fans…amen

Danica Patrick Decides To Grace NASCAR With Her Presence: What started as low whispers as the summer began grew into loud conversation leading to an official announcement that IndyCar driver Danica Patrick would be bringing her curvaceous self to NASCAR. While certainly not a stupid story, the Patrick story was without question the most over-hyped story of the year.

While Jimmie Johnson was making history, hints that Patrick might be considering NASCAR pushed the stories of the eventual first four-time consecutive champion from the front page.

When news came that she had signed a fulltime IndyCar deal, many thought her NASCAR news would ride off into the sunset. Instead an image that inadvertently appeared on her webpage showing a NASCAR Nationwide Series crest on her firesuit fueled further speculation. The speculation took the spotlight from NASCAR’s first championship foray into Las Vegas, a week that turned out to be a very successful one.

When she finally made the announcement that she would campaign part time for JR Motorsports it almost seemed to be an afterthought. That was followed by an announcement that she would be participating in an ARCA test at Daytona International Speedway. The test brought more media to the track then had ever been seen at an ARCA test. Track and ARCA officials scrambled to deal with all the attention. The hype continued as the testing got underway with breaking news reports of what Patrick had eaten for breakfast and what video game she had played while waiting out a rain delay.

While many wish Patrick nothing but success in the coming year as she tries her hand in stock car racing, the hype that goes along with it, such as what Ms. Patrick had for lunch, is something most agree we can do without.

Kentucky Speedway Drops Lawsuit, NOT: A years long legal battle between NASCAR and Kentucky Speedway seemed to finally come to an end in October. The suit, which was filed in 2005 by the owners of the speedway, accused NASCAR of conspiring to keep a coveted Sprint Cup Series date from the track.

The suit was thrown out in 2007 and the owners decided to appeal. That appeal was later denied. Speedway Motorsports Incorporated bought the track during this time and after the second appeal was denied, the former majority owner, Jerry Carroll said they would not be filing any more appeals. Shortly after SMI bought the track, NASCAR said they would not even discuss a Sprint Cup date while the litigation was still in effect, so when Carroll said there would be no more appeals, most agreed that NASCAR and SMI would soon be announcing a Cup date.

But wait a minute.

Just last week the former minority owners sued Carroll saying they didn’t agree with Carroll to drop the lawsuit and wanted it to continue.

Where this will end up is anyone’s guess, but one thing is for certain, don’t look for any Cup racing at Kentucky Speedway anytime soon.

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