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The stalker

When does admiration turn to stalking?
When does admiration turn to stalking?
Tina Phillips /

Oh no, here she comes... and wouldn't you know it?  She has a new hair do!  Short in the back, longer in the front, with cute little layers.  Yep.  It's the same hairstyle you got for yourself two weeks ago. 

Some say imitation is the highest form of flattery.  Your friend is simply emulating you because she holds you in high regard.  She sees you as a mentor, a trendsetter, an all around got it together kind of girl.  But in truth, she's making you crazy!! * * * * *

There is a fine line between admiration and outright stalking.  If your friend is only trying to copy your sense of style, then it's a bit hard to write her off as a stalker.  Take the time to talk with her.  Let her know that she is making you uncomfortable.  Tell her that while you are flattered that she likes your look, you wish she wouldn't follow quite so closely.  She may not have realized that she's making you uncomfortable.

If, on the other hand, she is mimicking everything you say and do, then she has crossed the line.  If your favorite thing to do on a Saturday morning is head to Barista's for a cup of Chai, you shouldn't suddenly see her in there reading the paper over your shoulder.  When you switch from Tilton Fitness to Island Gym to get away from her and she pops up on the treadmill next to you, BIG neon sign that this chick is not quite right!

There's no gentle way to disengage from the Stalker.  A clean break may actually be in order for your own sanity.  Stop taking her calls and minimize your responses to emails or texts.  Keep communication to a minimum to discourage her pursuit of you.  If you are not sharing your life's details with her it will become difficult for her to properly stalk your activities.  Whether consciously or unconsciously, these individuals need to follow someone to validate themselves.  Disconnecting will force her to move on to a new victim. 

A very simple rule to remember is that no one can make you feel creepy, unless they're actually creepy!  Run; don't walk, to the nearest exit sign!!

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