Skip to main content

The slippery slope to divorce

The trials and tribulations of divorce
The trials and tribulations of divorce
Getty Images/Beate Sonnenberg

Yes the divorce rate is high in this country, somewhere near half of first time marriages fail, depending on whose stats you look at. We hear about money issues, family issues, sex and infidelity issues but an issue that needs to be added to the list is the Slippery Slope. The Slippery Slope, in this case, is the idea that a man gets married because it is simply the next thing that society expects him to do and he feels he has no way around it. He has dated the woman exclusively, maybe lived with her, and spent months and even years together. And somewhere in that period, an expectation, a pressure from outside, starts to raise the specter of marriage, after all, that’s what you do right? So, the question everyone wants to know is when is he going to take the next step? The clock is ticking.

The woman, in many cases may desire, suggest or even demand marriage. There’s nothing wrong with that, and he knows it. Marriage is a pretty “normal” thing. But what if he, although he loves her and wants to be with her, doesn’t feel he’s ready or even wants marriage at that point? As the pressure continues to build, many men just go ahead and propose because, well, that’s what you do next. And after all, he loves her right? But when this happens, and he hasn’t taken the time to really get to the heart of his needs, and probably doesn’t know how to, then eventually there will be negative consequences for the relationship. It may appear in six months, six years, or forever stay his personal burden, but it will be there. However it manifests, when a man feels railroaded there’s a good chance he will push back and leave. Either that or he’ll stay and be miserable, or stay and give up, becoming a shadow of what he could be for both his woman and for himself. And that my friend is a shame.