Balance; the word alone can leave one with chills and have them wanting to run as fast as they can, but to where? It's easy to run away from people, but what happens when a person feels the need to run from themselves, now that's where it probably gets a little difficult; OK let's be honest; its unbearable, or at least it is for some. When a person is constantly fighting on the inside in ways that convince them to move away from places they have never been, but at the same time its a need on the inside that longs to be filled. Do we just fear the unknown of love so much, therefore convincing ourselves that its safer to refrain from the very thoughts of slowly walking into uncharted regions? Fearing something that's healthy is just the recognition of something growing, and growing is a form of life, but when a person has felt numb, life can become scary.
So how to balance something so great? Can the process be slowed down and does that mean its dying?
It takes two to balance a relationship; just like a teeter totter it needs the perfect weight distributed on both sides to attain that delicate balance that will keep the relationship healthy. It's about knowing who you are and staying true to that identity, and knowing when to apply the togetherness that a healthy relationship needs to grow. The unequal weight can shift the relationship into what I like to refer to as toxic territory. Looking to the survival of the relationship through codependency can and often leaves a people beaten down and feeling worn out. Maintaining too much independence can leave the other person feeling unwanted or unneeded; the pressures of each can seem more of a burden than a joy, and it can leave them feeling weighed down. I know, because I have allowed myself to be there.
The speed is tied into the balance of the relationship. Not everything can stay perfectly balanced just like two kids playing on the teeter totter, but if one, or both are willing to identify when things become unbalanced, this is a positive sign as both people are aware of what it takes to maintain the vitality of the relationship.
A relationship needs time to grow just like a plant needs to be nurtured, given the appropriate amount of water, sunlight and care. It must not be rushed. Think about this, when a plant receives too much water it can drown, too much sunlight and it can starve, but not enough light and you can see it begin to wither away. The vitality of growth depends on the investment, the responsibility and the love.
Like that plant, a relationship needs appropriate doses of tenderness, understanding and acceptance, but too much too fast can rob a person of what's really underneath the surface, however moving too slow can leave the relationship malnourished. Balance is the center of what makes a healthy or a toxic relationship, and it's them together that controls how much to give, or not to give that can help your relationship grow and mature.