Men must be required to give
Why do men try to get away with that "let's go Dutch" stuff? And why would a woman accept that type of date? What is it men are trying to accomplish by going Dutch? How is a guy that suggests Dutch dates going to be perceived by women? And ladies, if you agree to pay half or even volunteer to go Dutch on a date, what message are you really sending to the guy?
Is a man that insists on doing Dutch just a cheap so and so trying to date without paying for anyone but himself, or is he allowing a woman to assert her independence? Let me tell you what I think…
Rule #2 – Men Must Always Pay 100% of the Cost for the First Two Dates
My rule is probably not going to go over well with a certain segment of the male population. I've run into more men lately who are terrified that dating is going to cost them in some huge way. They express fear that women might be "using them" for a "free" dinner or lunch. They feel more comfortable if the woman pays her half so that they have nothing invested in her.
And therein lies the problem... You have nothing invested in her.
Sadly, if you truly believe the only reason a woman would go out with you is to get a free meal, your low opinion of yourself speaks volumes about your perceived desirability and self-confidence. Since you believe you are not a desirable man, it would follow then that you'd be distrustful of a woman's true feelings and interest in you. You are a living example of Groucho Marx's quip: "I'd never join a club that would have a person like me as a member!"
A man resistant to investing $25 on a date is guarded, stingy and protective with his time and feelings as well as his money. Women know this, and smart women avoid such men like the plague.
Women's liberation is this fella's dream come true. He desperately wants the respect and admiration a man who proudly embraces the socially accepted role of "male" receives from women. However, by insisting that women pay for dates he places women in the traditional male role. This guy then complains bitterly that women "are confused," "don't know what they want" or don't want "a good man."
For a woman to feel like a woman, the man she is with has to flood her senses with his masculine energy. The guy that told me "Most men won't feel comfortable letting the woman pay. It is a threat to his masculinity" understands this concept.
Young Women and Mature Women See Things Differently
There seems to be a difference in perception about going Dutch that was clearly generational; women in their mid-30s and older expressed the following sentiments about Dutch treat dates:
"If a guy pays for a date he wants me for more than just a fling and values me and my time. I can afford to pay my way but I enjoy being treated because it makes me feel like a desirable woman. If a guy hints for a contribution or asks me to pay I feel that he is interested in one night stand - not anything long term. I pay my way, no problem but I drop the guy (and no, he doesn't get none either)!"
"If a woman within this age group volunteers to pay her share, she is sending a signal of disinterest. I always grab the tab on a first date when I never want to see the guy, again. A woman offering to pay on the first date is never a good sign guys."
"If the guy asks me out I expect him to pay. If I ask the guy out I am prepared to pay. I've never done that Dutch treat nonsense. Nor do I go over to a guy's house for a movie and dinner date either. I'm too old for that."
"If I'm with someone who insists on paying, fine, but I feel more comfortable with me being able to pay for my part. I always offer to pay my share because...well it's my share! If he is nice enough to insist then that's very sweet of him. I wouldn't ever want someone I cared about to think I am using them for free stuff!"
The last woman was 19 years old and her statement clearly demonstrates the generational difference in attitude. Mature women know that paying on a date is a mistake. When a woman pays she is (either knowingly or unknowingly) putting up emotional barriers. Even if that woman is interested, she is abandoning any expectations of being treated like a lady by letting a man know that he doesn't have to do any work to get her. He is not challenged to be the best man he can be, because she gives too much, too soon. Women that pay for dates make it easy for men to be selfish.
With Men What You See is What You Get
A man shows you who is he early in the dating process. Women need to pay attention and stop making excuses for men's negative behavior.
Trying to create a relationship with a selfish stingy man will be exhausting and frustrating. He will resist giving his time, expressing his feelings, or sharing his thoughts. He won't feel motivated to be romantic, say sweet things, or go out of his way to make you feel good. Some barely pay attention to the person they claim to love. And as the relationship goes on, it will be difficult for you to complain about not getting things you never demanded from him in the beginning.
By paying for the first date you set the bar for gallant treatment and his performance as a man at ground level. Always remember that loving requires a willingness to let go, the courage to make yourself vulnerable, and the ability to allow someone to possess a piece of your soul. To reach the depth of love that warms your heart and keeps a man on your mind day and night, he must be willing to give to you in spirit, thought and energy.
It all begins with his willingness to pay for dates.
Comments
I agree ONE HUNDRED PERCENT. I'm 22, and while in that younger generation age bracket, the minute the guy isn't paying for me I automatically categorize the relationship as "just friends".
Also, when you split costs it infers that you don't expect there to be future situations where you will pay each other back in other ways. She pays for tickets to a game as surprise gift, picks something out for him when she goes shopping because it reminds her of him, etc.
Great article!
"And therein lies the problem... You have nothing invested in her."
I am a man, and this article is just trash, you have nothing invested in him too, so what are you talking about?
If paying for something is what makes you think that he is in love with you, i got some news for you.... if you think men should pay because they are men, then don't come complain that you want to be treated equally to men in , get your digging gloves and start digging, or you just want to be a women when there are benifits?
You know what i do say? If i go out and the women doesnt pay 100% of the cost for the first 2 times, then she doesn't like me, does it make sense to you?
I was raised by my father to be a gentleman and to treat women like my mom and 3 sisters as special. If I was really worried about a few funky dollars spent on a date I am not worthy of the title "man." This Berto cat is whack!!! Some woman probably broke his heart so now he hates all women. Don't worry about him...this was a good article. Women DO need to set the bar higher for men. Kick cheap angry men to the curb.
If you take the money out of the equation, (by, say, going Dutch) a man can more clearly see where a woman's head is in terms of long-term realtionship material. If you CAN'T take the money out of the equation, you can also see where a woman's head is.
@James Miller,
You are right to treat your mother and 3 sisters as special; they are members of your family and worthy of your provision and protection.
You honestly feel that every woman you encounter deserves that privilege?
Thank you for replying Noize. I just want to clarify something here... nowhere in the article did I say that a man had to spend great sums of money on the dates. Happy hour drinks and snacks is less than $20. Ice cream and hot dog in the park less than $15. The focus is on getting to know the woman, not impressing her with your bankroll. If a man is so guarded and judgmental that he is afraid to spend $20 on a woman for fear of "being used" then like I said, he is not worth dating because he is not interested in enjoying a woman and being a gentleman, he is more focused on proving her unworthy of his time and energy. A woman looks for a man that is open to her, giving, and who has the qualities of a gentleman. James Miller (whoever he is) has that understanding. Relax Noize! Take a woman out and make your budget $20 tops. Have fun and report back to me. :)
Noize is completely on the money.
The fact that you are so obsessed about money and the man paying shows where your head is at.
The fact is, getting to know someone is free. If you are putting a price tag for your company, when you are also getting the pleasure of my company, I equate that to a mild form of prostitution. I spend time with you, I have to pay. What does that sound like?
Especially considering the economic times we are in, it is extremely selfish for women, especially in this age where women have careers to expect men to finance their entertainment. More men are realizing that they are getting taken advantage of and are choosing to either opt out, or find quality women who don't make money an issue.
I recommend doing the latter. Any men reading this, raise the bar on the women you choose and don't deal with women who are obsessed with your money, and spending it. If any woman feels entitled to the sun moon and stars, that is a red flag and you must act accordi
One thing I have learned about dating men, and I have been married once too. I believe the man is the bread winner but I don't see dating as a form of entertainment. I feel that what a man does before marriage he will do after. Men are really going to love you or use you for self sexual gratification Their fruits manifest through many channels. Just watch and observe even small things that you think don't matter. The small things is what speaks the loudest!
Gentlemen, consider this a test of a woman you have an interest in. If you tell her you don't pay for women in the first two dates and she looks angry or annoyed or tries to shame you, DTB and turn away. She is not worth YOUR time or money.
If the money isn't an issue, then going Dutch shows no involvement and avoids any nagging later on about how you're not doing what you used to be doing.
Also, look at it this way...are you paying for a date or an escort? Look at the situation- you pay an escort for her time and enjoy being with her. An escort never pays for anything, that's what the john is supposed to do.
So, what's the difference between dating and escorting?
Why isn't a MAN'S time worth paying for, ladies? Why should I spend even $20 to get to know you- a walk in the park, a $5 coffee, even a visit to the library are all cheaper than the author is mentioning. Besides, with the current false rape accusations, men should avoid being alone with women these days
It's not so much the money as the sense of entitlement that goes along with this presumption in this age of equality in which we live.
Some cats with less life experience may feel that "it ain't trickin if you got it." Cats with more experience understand that women tend to make up their minds about their level of attraction to a man in a very short period of time, and this usually occurs before you even get to a first date scenario. I'm uncertain how much lunch it would take to change that.
Chivlary used to be a trait that was valued by the majority of women. These days, one woman's Galahad is another woman's Mark. Chivalry should be reserved for women who have proved that they are worthy of it.
Men aren't the only ones whose character is up for judgment on a first date....
I happened back to this page after seeing a link on another site, and saw your question to me Noize. The answer man is HELL YEAH. All women are worthy of my positivity. Until a woman proves to me that she is not a lady, she is automatically worthy. treating a woman like shyt reflects more on me as a man than it does on her. Just like I want her to automatically see me as worthy as being treated like a man. You gotta give it to get it. Pops schooled me ...said would have the attitude you do when they grew up without a father to guide them, and I've seen it in my block, in college and online. I don't want to seem like I am being hard on you man, but the attitude you have about females is counterproductive. There are a lot of cool, beautiful, loving women out here but you have to project cool and loving to draw them out. You talk in a f'd up way about women, no woman of character is going to give you the time of day.
Son,
Bravo for breaking out the shaming tactics, as misaimed as they may be. The opposite is in fact true: my Father was the one who pointed out to me the need to be observant when first spending time with a woman to gauge where her head is.
Your statement actually sounds like something a woman with an agenda would say.
After you have been a husband for 17 years and a father of three, you may have enough experience under your belt to understand what I'm explaining to you. For your sake I hope it happens sooner.
The question I asked was "Does every woman that you encounter deserve your provision and protection?" If you believe that the answer to that question is Yes, then you put no value on what you bring to the table. And if you think I'm talking about money, go and have your Pops explain it to you.
Your efforts make it more difficult to discern the
Noize, just let him be.
He feels that all women DESERVE his positiveness, then let him choose that path. He was raised in a time and still feels that will work with women these days. He hasn't burned or gotten cheated on by the very same woman he gave this postiveness too. He hasn't lost enough money trying to treat women with respect to see that a WOMAN decides whether she likes you or not- the guys she desires never have to spend a dime to get her. He hasn't been charged falsely or accused of a crime and barely escaped.
He still has the blinders on and enjoys the brainwashing.
He can no more convince us that every woman is worthy of our time than we can convince him that he is throwing quality pearls to swineish women. Let him seek the attention of these women, let him give all his positiveness to them...one day he will look back and ask himself why he has nothing left of himself.
He can never answer the nagging question...what was in it for HIM?
Engaged to be married February 2010 I don't worry about all that. I've always treated women with respect and never had a problem. Did run across a couple that didn't know what to do with it, but it was still cool. No harm, no foul Different types of men, different types of women. A marriage like my parents, 40 years and nothing but joy is my goal. All I can tell you is Deidre would never have talked to me if I had come off like you are comin off. I would have missed out on this woman trippin about who pays on a date. Ain't worth it man. Paying for a few dates I have female friends for life and a woman to be my wife. What do you have?
ladies this is why we should should pick good men to be our partner in life and fathers of our children i.e husbands- JAMES MILLAR. because we end up with someone like NOIZE bringing life into this world- angry bitter men who produce more angry bitter men.
What do I have? I said before that I'm a husband of 17 years and a father of three. Glad to know you were paying attention. If you don't believe that what you bring to the table as a human being has value, fine; enjoy your life.
What do you have?
Freedom
Money
Power
Choice
Availability
Simplicity
Peace
Respect
Health
Energy
Stability
Confidence
Indifference
All gained while being a happy single guy.
So, what am I missing from not paying for a date? Not much it seems, but it's a perfect way to weed out a lot of women who feel entitled to a man's time, money and energy.
You remind me of someone I knew 15 to 20 years ago. Me. Now, I didn't just wake up one day and decide to stop playing the good man role. It was when I started having increased success with women that I began to learn more about them. Gradually I learned just how narcissistic and self centered they were. If they want sex, they want it NOW. You think guys are walking horn dogs? We have nothing on a woman in binge mode. If she wants you, you don't have to spend a DIME on her...however, if she isn't feeling you, you'll be EXPECTED to spend money on her, thus buying an escort.
Make a move, and if she expects pedastal treat
Quote:
Okay, ladies...
You really want to know why?
Because most of us have wised up to that BS
Most of us men know that women lump us in two categories:
1) The ones you bang
AND
2) The ones you marry/date
Most men nowadays know that if a woman suggests that a man should "wine and dine" her before he gets to "know her", then he's not getting any.
Not only that, we have also realized that for every mean that has to jump through hoops is a man who doesn't have to jump through hoops.
In other words, we see no point whatsoever in paying for something other men are getting for free. (Especially since that "something" is waaaaay overpriced anyway.)
She won't even get the tab on the second date, or put a few dollars down for the tip since you got the bill (as a common courtesy and the least she could do), then she's trying to milk you and set a pattern that it's your job to treat her to things although she has no genuine feelings for you or romantic interest or
Thanks James Miller for your comments.
"Women DO need to set the bar higher for men. Kick cheap angry men to the curb."
These angry men are weeding themselves out of the desirable dating pools and dwelling at the bottom with the bottom feeders. Men like you are highly desirable because of your respect and positive attitude towards women. You're the guy women would date because your attitude is attractive and you're a gentleman. That's what women want. It's not about 'freebies' on a date, you see the bigger picture.
I'm with James Miller on this one. Been married for 6 years. I was raised to pay for dates, treat a lady like a lady. Noize and WHA, sorry but you guys have lousy bitter attitudes towards women. What you put out is what you get back. If you put out positive and treat people well, most times it's reciprocated, if you are negative and put that out, that's what you draw to you. Ugly attitude and behavior beget's ugliness.
WHA and Noize,
Why are you guys giving James Miller a hard time because he is NOT like you two? Why is it important to you two that he behaves like you and sees dating like you? If you're so happy being you, then keep doing you. James is happy doing him, you don't have to try to convince him to be like you? Personally I find men like James more attractive just by his attitude than you two and he wouldn't have to spend a dime to go out with me because he's drawn me in by his positive attitude whereas you 2 have repelled me. Noiz do you have a happy marriage?
WarHammerAx says "In other words, we see no point whatsoever in paying for something other men are getting for free"
What does this attitude say about you and how you feel towards women in general.
you guys have lousy bitter attitudes towards women
These angry men are weeding themselves out of the desirable dating pools and dwelling at the bottom with the bottom feeders.
Personally I find men like James more attractive just by his attitude than you two and he wouldn't have to spend a dime to go out with me because he's drawn me in by his positive attitude whereas you 2 have repelled me.
*I have to thank you for proving my point out so well. You keep saying I'm bitter and angry for not wanting to spend any money on a woman on the FIRST DATE and yet you mention nothing about what the woman has done to EARN this money. No mention of what she is bringing to the table besides her looks and personality...yet I'm supposed to bring my wallet and my desire to treat HER well?
Where is the balance in this...where is the guide saying what a WOMAN is supposed to bring a man on the first date? There is none.
So, when are women going to start showing they are worth a man's ti
What does this attitude say about you and how you feel towards women in general.
*
Actually, I weed out a lot of women. If I'm not the nice guy, the gentleman and let them know that if they want an emotional tampon, a gentleman, a 'nice guy', they can leave me alone and go find their 'good man'. I'm not going to play that role or do the cleanup job or spend one dime without knowing WHY I'm spending it. In case anyone hasn't figured it out, you CANNOT buy a woman into liking you- she either does or doesn't. No amount of money you spend will convince her otherwise, else she will love your money and tolerate you while she goes and gets the man she REALLY wants- and he doesn't have to spend a dime on her.
Respect should not be given, it should be EARNED. No one is entitled to it for nothing.
When you start DEMANDING respect from women, something very strange happens. The quantity of women in your life drops like a rock (as expected) but the quality goes through the roof.
THE RULES
Don't spend more than $30.00 on a date, $0 (zero dollars) is preferable. A better idea is not to take her out to dinner at all. Leave that to the chumps. Tell her to hook up with you for a drink after she has dinner with the chump. Why waste your money otherwise?
Why spend money to validate her worth at your expense? And what do you think that says about what she thinks about you?
Under a logical view of equality, sex is something that should be equally shared and equally enjoyed by both parties, canceling out any need for further compensation for the act for either party. Forget it if you think women would actually buy into this line of thinking though! They see their sexuality as costly and male sexuality as cheap (why else do they feel that on a date all they have to do is show up and you do the paying?)
Warhammer, if you are so happy being single, then be single! No one is stopping you or saying what you should do with YOUR money. Keep it to yourself. You are exerting an amazing amount of energy trying to justify your cheapness when it is actually amusing.
Secondly, you feel women must earn your respect but you want women to respect you just because? People should give each other respect until proven that they don't deserve it. The wariness and distrust you project about all women is very telling. I really think you should talk to someone about that, perhaps a shrink.
Apparently some woman in your life hurt you deeply and now you express that distrust and feeling of abandonment onto all women, using your wallet as the shield. Love can never exist in an environment of withholding or when one fears loss because you will never make yourself vulnerable to the richness love offers because you are too guarded, too fearful, too adamant that you will not give of yourself. Sad, but tru
Deborah, contrary to popular belief, I'm not hurting or cheap. I actually have the money to do what interests me. It takes visiting other countries and seeing women worldwide to realize that a woman who truly likes you and enjoys your company doesn't need anything but you to be happy. She doesn't require or demand you spend money on her just to be around her and if she considers you cheap, it's because you prefer to spend money on things that actually matter, not on trivial things like drinks and dinner, which anyone can do.
Besides, if a guy takes a woman out consistently, what's her incentive to return the favor...after all, she didn't have to do anything and she's getting dinner and treated well for just showing up. As for a man earning respect, women expect a man to do everything they can to earn her love and attention, which is why such things as paying for the first date came about. Now that men are asking 'What's in it for me?', suddenly they are labeled cheap and stingy
As for being hurt by women, I'm not hurt...just terribly disappointed by them.
You expect logic, common sense, respect, feminine charm, self respect and kindness along with physical beauty and yet it's getting harder and harder to tell the prostitutes for the regular women. I decided if women could play the picky game and dismiss a man based on the most trivial conditions- job status, height, income, living situation, and whether he was willing to jump through hoops for her, then why can't I do the same?
It's quite amusing to see women get angry at the very double standards and conditions they dish out on a daily basis. If a man does it, it's shameful, if a woman does it, it's empowering. So, I've been called cheap, angry, bitter, hurt and less than a man for doing the SAME thing the OP has been doing with her choice of men. If a woman can weed me out for making her pay for her share, then she isn't a loss to me. Billions of other women out there and airline tickets are chea
We've been having a very spirited discussion in a BDSM group I run about this very subject - who should pay, why and how many times can be expect? Your advice is more relevant than you could know. The dynamics of Dominant and submissive add another layer of complication to dating and relationships, I found your article to be very helpful in explaining how and why. Hopefully the submissive men will take note and follow your 'Second Rule of Dating' and the dominant women they are courting will appreciate their sincerity and gesture and not take it for granted.
In short Ms Cooper, YOU ROCK!!!
WarhammerAxe needs to see a shrink, it's plain as day and he is in big time denial. If he's so comfy doing 'him' then why come on this article to try to defend his stance? It's plain as day that he has some issues with women and no woman in her right mind would give him the time of day. No wonder he has to go out of the country to find women who would. LOL, it's so sad but Ms. Coooper called it, but WHA is too defensive to see it. Poor thang. He's actually doing women a favor by not going out with them. He's 'off' and doesn't know it and I'm sure that comes across to the women he tries to approach, they probably look at him like he's crazy and the men he's calling chumps are sailing off into the sunset with the women he claims he despises but probably secretly wants. Stop fooling yourself WHA, because you aren't fooling us, you need help man. really.
I wonder would WarHammerAxe behave like he claims if he chanced to meet up with some of these celebrity babes that most guys tend to lust after. The Beyonce's the Kim Kardasians, the Kerry Washingtons, the Taraji Henson. I can just see him give his 'equality" spill and what have they done to 'earn' a free meal off him and he's no chump'. Those women would sic their bodyguards on him and go out with James Miller. Leaving pitiful WHA with his full wallet, empty heart and selfish thinking and bugged eyes wondering what are these women problems? Can't they see his point?! Uuh no, you're standing alone on that one. But keep pushing that battle by yourself and see how many dates you get in the U.S. with quality women with that attitude. LOL Are you in a committed relationship BTW?
WHA 'As for being hurt by women, I'm not hurt...just terribly disappointed by them.'
Translation: Yes I've been hurt by women. You should admit and be honest with yourself that you've been hurt by a woman. Stop playing the semantic game. Continual disappointment leads to HURT feelings that's human nature. You won't get better for until you admit that you are bitter towards women and just don't really like them. This attitude comes across loudly and clearly on this page. Any psychologist reading your postings could easily see the the contempt. You've been hurt by a significant woman in your life time and as Ms. Coooper said, you are using 'money to hide behind it. Do yourself a favor, and adress your issues and stop using money as an excuse it's goes much deeper than who pays for a date and you know it. No need to be a lonely old bitter man because of your attitude now.
@WHA "I have to thank you for proving my point out so well. You keep saying I'm bitter and angry for not wanting to spend any money on a woman on the FIRST DATE.
You just don't get it and it's sad that you don't. It's not about the money, it's about your attitude which comes through loudly and clearly in your posts. Your attitude towards women sucks! You assume the worst about a woman before even going out with her. When you look for bad guess what you'll find it because you're so focused on it. Anything she says and does is suspect and you're primed to interpret it negatively. It's not the woman or the money, it's your nasty stinky attitude towards women. Even if the woman met you for drinks, you'd still throw up equality and what has she done to 'earn' her a free drink off you. You need to look in a mirror and ask yourself why you hate women so much, why you resent them so much and go back in history to figure out when this attitude developed and undue it.
Ladies, beware of men who talk like WarhammerAxe, steer clear of them. They do nothing for your self-esteem. There are far more quality men out there and no they are not chumps. Look to men like Old school dude, and James Miller.
avoid Noize and War hammer Axe like the plague (or the H1N1), you'll be better off. Let them go out of the country for some gullible woman who doesn't know any better or no to expect higher standards or better treatment from a man. That leaves women like you available for men like James Miller and others to scoop up. Good luck ladies.
WHA" If a woman can weed me out for making her pay for her share, then she isn't a loss to me. Billions of other women out there and airline tickets are chea"
LOL so you'd rather spend an airline ticket/hotel to go to these 'billions' of other women out there, than to date someone in your own backyard because you wouldn't want to spend $40 bucks on a meal on a first date. (rolls eyes) Yeah, that's pretty logical'. Oh btw, who says these billions of women want to be with you? Just because they are out there, doesn't mean they are accessible to you or that you'd get a chance with them. Some of these women in other countries are gullible and just want to get with an American dude and don't know any better to expect better treatment and dudes like you get over on that. It's not that they are better, it's that you get over because you can't step up your game to meet the women in America standards so you slink off to other countries. yup very logical. You got it man. keep doing you.
WarhammerAxe,
Here is a good resource for you
heartrelationships .com
You are emotionally walled off, that's the crux of your problem. It has nothing to do with who pays for dates, it's your emotions that are the issue.
For Telephone
Coaching Call
Neil Rosenthal licensed family relationship therapist google him. I can't post the links or urls.
Good luck man, and I hope you find room for improvement with your attitude towards women. Forget the money issue, with you it's much deeper than that. I hope your pride and stubborness doesn't get in the way of you addressing your issues with women and your inability to open your emotions.
to answer the big question, I have no hatred of women, just indifference. I know plenty of women and they think I'm brutally honest, funny, amusing, honorable and one who keeps his word. They also know I tolerate zero games and will walk away at any time, with no regrets or feelings. As for traveling, what's wrong with visiting other countries and seeing the sights...Akihabara-Electric Avenue is awesome and a technological dream, Brazil, where even the ugly chicks look like models, or Britain-well, lets just say you begin to understand why British men tend to look overseas.
So, what exactly am I missing out on? BYW, Beyonce, Kim...no thanks, they have nothing worth talking about to me besides themselves. I prefer avoiding women I'm supposed to lust after...all they tend to be is insecure and shallow and without the make up, have the same equipment as every other woman out there. It's awesome that so many women would avoid me...it shows that the path I'm on is the right one.
It ain’t my job any longer to do the crappy work of seeking women out, put up with their bashing, hostility, arrogance, contempt, and exploitation just so they can have the relationships which they will still endlessly complain about not being anywhere good enough.
Women have spent the last 4 decades alienating men from themselves, and all that emotional DDT they have been poisoning the social environment with has built up to toxic levels which are poisoning all relationships.
And what is so funny, is that women still expect men to do the work that they have criminalized and endlessly spat on men for doing. Remember what women have been telling us for years - there simply are no good men. Actually there are, but “the men have left the building.”
You gals made your bed, we hope you like it. If you ever decide to get off your passive butts and come looking for us good men, court us, treat us decently, and stop playing victim, and give up your attitude of entitlement, we are her
WHA are you in a serious committed relationship with a woman? How many seriou relatinships have you been involved with? What do 'you' bring to the table to offer a woman besides your oh so charming personality' (tongue in cheek). The Brazil thing, Aah yes I've heard about men going there. The way you describe it shows how 'shallow' you are (while you're bashing the women),
'Where even the ugly chicks look like models?" What do you look like?
WHA you contradict yourself continually. " I prefer avoiding women I'm supposed to lust after...all they tend to be is insecure and shallow". If you avoid these women, how do you know they are supposedly insecure and shallow? But you don't deny, you 'lust after them. LOL.
WHA "Women have spent the last 4 decades alienating men from themselves, and all that emotional DDT they have been poisoning the social environment with has built up to toxic levels which are poisoning all relationships"
And you know this how? "your opinion, no statement based on fact. How old are you BTW to have all of this cynicism towards women? Are you 40?
WHA "It ain’t my job any longer to do the crappy work of seeking women out, put up with their bashing, hostility, arrogance, contempt, and exploitation just so they can have the relationships which they will still endlessly complain about not being anywhere good enough"
You're right, it's your job to keep your toxic self away from women so you are right to keep away from women stateside and go elsewhere until those women get tired of your toxic ways then I guess you'll have to go to Mars. LOL
WHA "So, what exactly am I missing out on?"
The phone number to a good shrink, go to it my good man!
Every man I know that expresses that he is "indifferent" to women likes men instead. Is that what you are trying to say Warhammer? It's fine if you are gay. I have plenty of gay friends and they are all wonderful people.
AMEN! It's funny, some of the men today expect to be wined, dined, driven, paid for, taken care of, taken on dates, housed, babied, and then expect sex.. they act like 18th century ladies waiting to be courted. That just sends the message that there is a man-baby looking to be adopted, and he will bring NOTHING to the table except trouble. When the world is equal, and women are treated fairly, and are paid more than 70% of men's salaries, then I'll be happy to pay for a man. Until then, I'll wait for the gentlemen.
I will only allow a woman to pay her share, if she offers. If she offers, then obviously she wants to pay her share (probably because she wants to show her independence). I have a hard time not giving a woman (who I like) what she wants. I've noticed no difference in whether I've dated a woman again, depending on whether I've paid 100% for a date or not.
I hate rules. Enough said.
This should be published more often so that MEN can educate themselves! I love this article!!!
Deborrah - I'm one of the D.C. examiner's relationship columnists. What an article about the black church and black women. Sheesh! You've become a lightening rod. Would you mind my using your article to stimulate a dialogue in D.C.? No, I'm not going to say I wrote it - I want to send it to people and have them comment on it. You can respond at Mlyles@olender.com or Marilyles@yahoo.com. Thanks.
Mari
A guy asked me out on a date last night, so I met him at a club inside the casino. When I ordered my bottle of coors light he just sat there and did not offer to pay. This guy knows that I have no job and that I am a full time student that is broke. Now he wants to see me again and I said yes, but am rethinking this decision. I think he is kind of an ass for not offering to get that drink for me.
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