In the upright position, the lovers card represents harmony and a peaceful cooperation between two entities or people. This points to a peaceful union and a good relationship. There is compatibility here. There is a shared happiness. This is a good and healthy relationship, business partnership, roommate situation, or whatever the case may be. The upright position of this card suggests balance and cooperation.
The reversed lovers card though suggests something different. Here, the harmony and the balance are not there. Something just isn’t right. It may be obvious what is wrong, or it may be hidden. Instead of cooperation and harmonious vibes, there is nitpicking. One does not completely accept the other and tries to change them. They look for things to be wrong. They take something small and expand it into something big- some small detail. There is a sense that one cannot let go of a gripe or a complaint. There is a need to be right about everything. There is a general air of instead of seeing the good of the other, seeing the negative. There are arguments over dumb little things.
These things can be very little things. These are things that can easily be gotten past as long as the parties involved can let go of the need to be right. All they have to do, really, is see the world through the eyes of the others and be understanding. But what happens when they are unable to do this? Then small problems blossom into problems that are much bigger. How important is it to be right every time? How important is it to make the other seem right just to soothe your need to dominate? Practice letting go of what is unimportant.
Of course, the reversed lovers card can suggest a much higher degree of incompatibility. The difference between two entities or people may be simply unsurmountable. Maybe it is best to accept this and each go their separate way. If that is the case, it is best to accept so the healing process begin.
When the lovers card comes up in the reversed position for you, take a look at the relationships of your life. Are you working to keep them strong? Are you able to let go of the small details that don’t matter? Do you have a need to be right all the time? If so, why? Why is that so important? Do you feel that you are being dominated by the other? How can you create a scenario that is more compatible for both of you?