There are STAGES to all grief. They are ultimately the same for any relationship. Whether it be a life long love or a crush that never progressed beyond friendship.
Grief stages are as follows:
Don't think you will experience these stages individually. There will be times that you will feel more than one in a day. You are ok. You are not crazy. Your pride or ego is just bruised. I promise, you are normal and things will get better. Be prepared, you will experience all of them before you have healing.
◾There was the first, instant crying spell. The crushing pain that you feel in your chest followed by the weight on your lungs that make it feel like you can't breathe. The feeling that life is over. I can't take this pain.
◾Then thoughts turn to: Maybe they really didn't mean it. Maybe they will change their mind. I will wait awhile for them to come to me and tell me it wasn't true. No one could really not want me.
◾You find it hard to get out of bed. The days seems so long. The motivation to complete any task just seems overwhelming. You wait hour after hour, day after day for that phone to ring or the knock at the door. Someone will see my pain and come to fix it......
◾Your mind starts to spin, your face gets warm and you start to reel with the feelings of anger. You scream, What is wrong with you!?! I am incredible! I was here to give you everything! You are a selfish person who doesn't know how to appreciate a good thing! All you think is that they were wrong, stupid and inconsiderate.
◾Now you are beginning to act desperate. You try to negotiate a relationship. You agree to cave to their wishes and lose who you are. You offer to be everything they want in spite of what is best for you. Lucky for you, they don't take you up on it. If they do, I hope you wake up soon and run!
◾Sadness and loneliness set in when you realize you are alone. You must start all over again. Learn a new routine that does not involve that person. It seems overwhelming. You had consumed every minute of your day with waiting for that text or phone call. Waiting to find out if you would see them today. You lost yourself waiting. Now is your chance to get back to who YOU are. Do not allow yourself to be defined by the person you were with. Wake up, get up and LIVE.
The sun is shining and your mind has returned from the darkness. You are ready to live again. You have found a new hobby or picked back up on one that you left behind. You call friends and go out. You shave for the first time in a week or weeks. You get a new outfit and fresh hairstyle. You look in the mirror and know: I am wonderful and have a lot to offer. If I had been "the one" things would have worked out. Accept that your "One" is still out there looking for you. They want to meet the real you, not who you pretended to be. They will not try to change you or hold you back from all you can be. They will encourage you to soar as you will them. Until then, Have a great love affair - with YOURSELF!