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The relationship age gap: Cougar call

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Today we examine the age-old scenario whereupon males seek out older women as opposed to women their own age.

Men will cite various reasons to justify this form of dating behavior, some of which are outlined below.

It’s All in Good Fun

These women more than likely come bearing “baggage” but the men pursuing these women turn the other cheek, because they’re only out for a good time, not a serious commitment. The great thing about this is that she probably just wants to have a good time as well, and isn’t looking to find husband #2 or #3.


Men are relieved to date a woman who’s established in her career and has her financials in check. He feels less obligated to provide for her because she’s able to provide for herself (note: this doesn’t mean she won’t be looking for you to provide for her, it just means she doesn’t need it as much as younger women do).

Mrs. Robinson Complex

Every guy has a "Mrs. Robinson moment" (or “Stifler’s Mom” if it's your buddy's mom) where he desires an attractive, older woman who comes with years of experience exceeding his own. He looks to her to “school” him, assuming that she’s mature enough to keep their private moments just that, private. It’s highly unlikely she will blast it out on Facebook or Twitter like girls his age would.

There is also very little to no fear of humiliation because she prides herself on teaching this younger man to be a better lover. In essence, it’s a free lesson in Advanced Sexual Techniques at the University of Mrs. Robinson.

Besides the above mentioned reasons, there are 5 below that showcase why going after a cougar is beneficial for a younger guy:

  1. You don’t have to sneak around her parents' house or keep the noise level down for sleeping roommates.
  2. She encourages you to do your own thing and hang with your boys, because she has her own priorities.
  3. She’s too busy focusing on your youthful stamina to notice the 10 lbs. you recently put on that your friends have been razzing you about.
  4. You don’t have to spend hours or days or weeks playing games trying to figure out if she’s interested. Older women are past the stage of playing dating games, and therefore will be pretty forward about their level of interest.
  5. Although many experts disagree with the theory that women hit their sexual peak in their 30s or early 40s, it’s hard to argue that they aren’t, at the very least, more interested in meaningful sex at this time. By this, I mean they know what works for them, what doesn’t, and what they like best. If they are sexy and confident, as most cougars are, and you don’t need to spend all night trying to find a needle in a haystack, if you catch my drift.

With every reward, however, comes risk. Below are a few things to keep in mind if cougar hunting is on your To Do list.

  1. Don’t be a homewrecker. If she’s married, regardless of her unhappiness, do not cross the line. Not only is it slimeball-esque, but karma will bite you in the ass later, in the form of a hot pool guy taking your wife when you’re away at work.
  2. Know whether you are looking for a relationship or just a good time and be sure to clarify, at the appropriate time. If you are looking for a long-term relationship, keep in mind that there are inherent risks for women over the age of 35 that try to get pregnant.
  3. Keep in mind that cougars typically expect a higher standard of living. By this, I am not saying that you need to take them to Capital Grille for dinner, but rather that they would probably prefer Lola to Wahoo’s Fish Taco.
  4. Step up your game. Cougars aren’t interested in an immature boy, no matter how much you rock their world in the sack. The second you show your age, she’ll send you packing.
  5. Depending on the age difference, be cognizant of the fact that your friends and family might be a bit shocked by your more senior love interest.

Have you dated a cougar? Share your experiences by clicking on the comment button. Cougars, any additional advice for the readers?


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  • Anymos 3 years ago

    Yeah I love me some cougar action. Amy has pretty much got it on the nose but let me elaborate a little more.
    -Most cougar (or femme de la cat) will be one of the most fun and twitter free. She will definitly want to be strait forward so no backing down you pansies.
    -I must disagree on the teacher status unless she is actually wearing a librarian outfit because all guys have something to prove.
    -What is really great is seeing the eyes of younger women when they finallly notice after updating facebook status.
    And finally it is usually all in good fun, for some reason women will get a picture of their perfect man burnt into their brain. They will then imagine this guy even if he is a total a-hole while she is with her 'prey' and both of you may have a good time.
    Maybe that perfect man will be photoshoped into you!

  • Profile picture of Amy Zanlungo
    Amy Zanlungo 3 years ago

    Thanks so much for the comment! Where's your favorite Denver cougar hangout?

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