Many people have a tendency to attract the exact same personality pattern of their previous mate. Next, they often complain about their significant other. Unfortunately, they never learned their role in creating their own reality.
Tina just assumed she was unlucky in love. Her ex-husband was a total nightmare who controlled her every move. He wanted to control her career, body parts, friends, education, church selection, haircut, hobbies, as well as her free time. Next, when her children were born, he refused to allow her to name them. Not to mention the fact that every Holiday celebration was with his family. Every vacation destination, restaurant selection, and movie viewed was his choice as well.
When she brought home her paycheck, he insisted that only he could manage the money. Tina wanted to buy a jeep but he dismissed that idea as well. Tina grew up with a very dominating father who also restricted her freedom. She was often yelled at, smacked and belittled for any sign of refusing to follow his orders.
If Tina wants a better relationship prospect than she needs to learn her role in this problem. Tina believes that men are doing this to her. Yet, it is clearly her own fault in attracting these controlling men.
Tina is now divorced and dating again. However, she is once again being overpowered in relationships. Tina tells her date no when he asks to attend a country western concert. She politely asks him to go with friends since she despises country western music. Her date Tom purchased tickets anyway and insisted that she accompany him.
Tina is not learning her lesson in being over powered in relationships. The power of her “No” is not strong enough. The moment a man raises his voice or invades her body space in a threatening manner she gives in. She resists any confrontation and desires a peaceful environment. No man takes her saying “No” seriously.
The reason she keeps attracting nightmare control freaks is to get her to be more empowered. Some people learn this lesson faster than others. However, she has remained single over her fear of attracting another bully mate. Her childhood has played a large role in attracting a man who dis-empowers her.
The moment Tina displays that her “No” means “No” and stands by it, than she will stop attracting men who try to over power her. The total control freaks will not stick around when they know she means business. The universe is just sending these men to balance out her passive approach.
Recognize your dysfunctional patterns!