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There is a rush to find Mr. Right. It's a race only the fittest can win. Only the professional daters can win and only those who limit themselves to every first impression they come across.
Authors Steven Carter and Julia Sokol wrote a book titled: Men like Women Who like Themselves discussing many things the female community does--more so leaves behind--when it comes to dating.
There is an imaginary time line many women continually place themselves on causing a feeling of decay: the days are getting shorter and the hair is getting grayer. This time line leaves many jumping at every chance to date a man they meet, causing a tossup of love—lust—at first site over just plain old incompatible personalities.
"Too many women confuse the "click" of a good connection with the "tick, tick, tick," of a Time Bomb that's just waiting to go off,” Sokol and Carter said.
Raising a quisitive eyebrow when first meeting someone is okay, picking out children’s names for the four you imagine having with him, is creepy.
You don't have to like every girl-friend you meet, so what's the rush when a new man comes along? It's good to have friends who are men; when is the last time you strictly kept one that way anyway?
"Rocket ships to the moon get there in stages,” said Sokol and Carter. “Why should it be any different for relationships?"
Feeling down on yourself because all your friends are out on a Friday night with their significant others is okay every now and then, but while feeling down on yourself you have turned into one of those soap opera loving, stay at home on a Friday night to stalk old High School classmates kind of girls.
Relationships don’t happen overnight. Yes, you may meet someone and feel the need to pick up the phone immediately informing them of your life's accomplishments, fears and desires. You may also feel the need to sleep with your phone next to your face in case the potential love interest calls. All of this only occurs after you immediately Facebook stalked them, MySpace searched them and searched the Internet for any picture or bit of information (yes men, do not think this doesn't occur).
Getting to know someone is the best part. It is a serious relationship you wanted right? So there needs to be unfolding. After all, you get a very long time afterward of Monday Night Football, petty arguments and moments of silence in the future. Use this time to enjoy the company of getting to know one another.
"The smartest woman knows you don't need a psychic to tell you what's good for you; you just need to pay attention."
Not every guy is a jerk because your date did not turn into a passionate Notebook style love story. You know what you deserve, you also know deep down what you like and don't like. Over time, you probably even made an imaginary set list of standards you would appreciate. So why forget all that for the first dude that comes along?
So continue to RSVP to weddings sans boyfriend or girlfriend and focus on Mr. Right-now not Mr. Right. Enjoy the cake, open bar and the single men. Just don't set yourself on walking out with a ring on your finger.
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