Have you ever looked back on your relationships to assess your mistakes? Tina fell head over heels with Larry. He was charming, educated and appeared genuinely interested in what she had to say. She was flattered with all his attention and wanting to spend time with her. In fact, she was barely able to get her own projects done since they were virtually inseparable. Tina was starved for male attention since her father left home early due to her parents’ divorce.
Even though Larry appeared like a doting partner she was missing all the warning signs of trouble ahead. Larry was rushing to make it a committed relationship. Next, he would act greatly offended if she wanted to go out with her girlfriends. Tina was missing all these signals since having a man love her was the greatest void in her life.
Tina was confusing dependency and a physical connection with love. She has now entered a co-dependent relationship with a man who expects her to make him happy. Her strong desire to win back the man who abandoned her years earlier was the perfect set up for an emotionally needy male.
In addition, she is living in a fantasy world about relationships. She is only assessing 100% what Larry is doing right in their current relationship. She has placed him on a pedestal and sublimated his values for hers. Larry likes to go dancing every weekend which Tina hates. Next, she is now stuck watching football every Sunday since Larry does not like watching it alone.
Tina is forgetting what she likes and values in life. In addition, she is allowing her greatest void in life to take her off path from her own dreams and goals. Tina was planning on finishing her Master’s Degree in Nursing. Larry thought if her priorities were in the right place she would abandon that idea and spend every day with him.
Unfortunately, Tina ended up becoming very resentful towards her mate. Her infatuated relationship turned into a nightmare from hell. She had failed to assess the importance of values in a relationship. Larry obviously had a different value system then she did. Tina needed to assess her mate’s values before committing to an intimate relationship. In the end she learned a vital lesson on the importance of personal boundaries and not giving up her goals and dreams.
A new relationship strategy could be, “Flee and they follow versus follow and they flee”. She had chosen to follow Larry and now she is fleeing.
If you want the partner of your dreams, then do not give up your own! What you value is just as important as what they value !
