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The Preschool Whisperer - Tip One: Emotion Coach Your Young Child

The Go-To Mom emotion coaches her toddler.
The Go-To Mom emotion coaches her toddler.
Scott Stalnaker

Despite good intentions, today’s parents still rely on what is familiar and comfortable, which means they engage in some of the outdated parenting techniques used by their parents or in some cases in opposition to their parents.

As an emotion coach, you come from a place of empathy.  Your first thought is always, “What is my child feeling?” before jumping in and discounting or minimizing whatever just happened or was said.  When your child is in distress, the first step is to just go over, check in and assess.

If parents teach their young children how to process uncomfortable feelings such as hurt, shame, guilt or anger, they’ll learn to process them appropriately and carry that skill with them into their adult relationships and into the work place.

We all have room for improvement as parents. If you'd like to hone in on effective parenting skills, stop by my show at Go-To Mom and try to become more of an emotion coach.  Remember to give yourself a break because parenting isn’t easy.  If you have difficulty addressing your own emotions, make it a priority to change that – I’m living proof that one can change their negative experience with their emotions.  I have faith you too can grow and learn with your child the way I do with mine. 

I am a passionate believer in emotion coaching, because it ensures a successful outcome:  cooperative, self-reliant and responsible children.  And isn’t that every parent’s goal?

Watch The Go-To Mom Show Here

Be sure to get the Go-To Mom’s new “Discipline” book this fall.  Book will be available on September 6th, 2010 from Jossey-Bass books.

Need a ‘pick-me-up?’ Read Kimberley Clayton Blaine’s other books on motherhood.  Kimberley is a national parenting expert and a licensed Family and Child Therapist who specializes in working with children ages newborn to six years old. Kimberley is the founder and executive producer of a grassroots webshow, called www.TheGoToMom.TV. Kimberley is a national speaker and teaches Early Childhood Brain Development and Positive Discipline Strategies at UCLA Extension Education Department.


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