Dear Annie, I met Al, who lives in New York, online. We quickly fell in love. I flew from San Francisco to meet him. Initially, everything was wonderful. However, when I talked about my ex-boyfriend, I became very emotional. He quickly backed off and told me that he just wants to be friends.
I can’t believe I made this mistake. I told him that he has truly captured my heart and begged him to reconsider, but he won’t change his mind. I email him every day, but he no longer replies.
Please tell me what I can do to win him back. Ellen
Dear Ellen, The only thing that you can do in order to become more appealing to Al is to stop contacting him. He is aware of your feelings. Give him space and time to respond.
Conversations are like a game of tennis. Once you have reached out to Al via email, wait for his response before attempting to contact him. If he doesn’t answer, it means he’s probably not ready to do so.
If, after a few days, you don’t receive a reply, it likely means that he isn’t interested in a romantic relationship. While it’s possible that he could change his mind, your best response is to move on with your life.
Al may have sensed that you could still have unresolved feelings for your ex. And it’s not his responsibility to heal your emotions. Your stress and concern during the conversation about your previous boyfriend indicates that, in your heart, you may not be ready for a new relationship.
The pain from your last relationship may well be fresh enough to interfere with your desire to build a new one.
You may want to consult a therapist in order to to gain a better understanding of your situation
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