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Purposeful discernment (Part 1): Identifying insignificant identities

EVERYone's character has an identity.
EVERYone's character has an identity.
Photo by: Spekulator

An important element to maintaining flourishing relationships involves an examination of personnel. There are different types of people; some of which you need in your life and some of which you don't. At particular times in your life, it may be crucial for you to determine who is who. Below are several categories of people “identities” that should be insignificant in regards to who you are as a person.

Drivers: Let's be honest. There are some people that do nothing more than get on your nerves, and drivers are those people. These are the people that absolutely DRIVE. YOU. CRAZY (in a negative way). Drivers will attempt to find any way to get under your skin. They are rude, inconsiderate, demeaning, and confrontational; especially in conversation. For whatever reason, whether it is known or unknown, they are very forceful with their negativity, attacking the good nature of you…and, at times, everyone else as well.

Hiders: These are the people who pretend to not be concerned about a particular person; however, they are quite preoccupied with that person, but at a distance. They “hide” their preoccupation behind things such as envy, jealousy, hate, gossip, lies, differences in beliefs, differences, in opinions, etc. Hiders avoid interaction with you, but always find a way to have their eyes, ears, and mouths open about you under the assumption that you know not of what they say and/or do. Hiders are usually fully aware of the damage that their actions can cause, which further inclines them to "hide" from you.

Gliders: Like hiders, gliders will openly and actively interact with you at a distance; one of which they feel to be “safe.” They glide above or along beside you, waiting for the “right” moment to say or do something; yet, they never say or do anything because they are more concerned about what others will think about them. They have no problem with you knowing them, but they have quite a bit of hesitancy allowing others to know that they know you.

Sliders: These are the fair-weather people in your life. Sliders "slide" in-and-out of relationships, usually based on what the current/potential advantages/disadvantages of the relationship will be for them. Sliders will be present when everything is “fun.” As soon as the relationship is not fun for them, or as soon as a not-so-pleasant situation arises, they “slide” away from you. They, then, cease to interact with you. They seemingly disappear. However, when an upside surfaces, you can rest assured they will do the same. They find a way to slide their way back into the relationship as if you didn’t notice their sliding ways.