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Purposeful discernment (Part 1): Identifying identities

An important element to maintaining flourishing relationships involves an examination of personnel. There are different types of people; some of which you need in your life and some of which you don't. At particular times in your life, it may be crucial for you to determine who is who. Below are several categories of "who" the people you allow to be in your life may be. Drivers - Let's be honest. There are some people that do nothing more than get on your nerves, and drivers are those people. These are the people that absolutely DRIVE. YOU. CRAZY! It seems as if their sole purpose and intention is to bring some type of negativity into your life, grande and/or small...and it seems as if they fulfill that purpose successfully to certain extents. Hiders - These are the people are considered to be nosey and gossipers. Hiders like to "hide" in plain sight by limiting their interaction while keeping their eyes and hears open to whatever they can know of you. Their lack of interaction causes them to be trouble makers and fire starters because they act on assumptions they derive from what they "think" they know. They are usually fully aware of the damage that their actions can cause, which further inclines them to "hide" from you. Gliders - Gliders openly and activley interact with you, but at a safe distance. They never allow themselves to get too involved or too attached to the relationship. They generally enjoy the relationship, but for whatever reason it may be, they seem to "glide" along the outskirts. Sliders - Sliders "slide" in and out of relationships, usually based on what the current/potential advantages/disadvantages of the relationship will be for them. When your life is fun and attractive, you can rest assured they will be right there in the middle of it all. But once things dull down or something negative arises, you better believe they are going to find a way to "slide" away from you...until they feel it is okay to "slide" there way back in. Sideliners - These are people who you do not have a consistent amount direct interaction with, but there is some extent recognition of existence. They can be neighbors, co-workers, fellow church members, etc. You may both know of each others existence or the recognition could be one-sided. Interaction with sideliners is very limited if it even exists at all. It is as if they are sitting on the sidline with no interest at all; however, once there is interaction, they can be easily swayed into being any of the other types of people. Fivers - These people are your "life cheerleaders." They take witness of your life in wait of moments to cheer you on. When life isn't as right as desired, they sympathize with you; but the same time, they encourage you in wait of your next positive moment. Fivers give you "high-fives" throughout your life, whether it be via hugs, kisses, handshakes (dap), and/or kind words. Fivers are your life's "fan base." Confiders - These are the people who cherish your relationship in the fullness of friendship. They trust you to treat the friendship with consideration and respect. In recognizing that trust, you trust them the same. You are comfortable in disclosing most of anything with them because you trust them to be discreet in disclosure and respectful in response. There is higher level of practicality and rationality with confiders because they take the time to know and understand who you are as an individual. Confiders do intrude on your life, but their involvment in your life is very impactful. Riders - Riders are your "life teammates." These are the people that will "ride" with you NO MATTER WHAT." Riders do not care so much about right versus wrong, but they absolutely care about you. They may not necessarily agree with or condone everything of you; however, they will stand by your side regardless. Riders make sure you don't "stand" too tall and they stand up for you when you, yourself, can't. Riders support you to the fullest of appropriateness. Riders feel with you, not "for" you. They laugh with you. They cry with you. They live with you. They'll die with you...and everything else in between.