As a parent, you may say that the tool of "time-out" doesn't work for kids. Jane Nelsen, Ed. D., author and co-author of numerous Positive Discipline books, would agree that is, if parents are using the traditional type of time out - the one where parents tell children to sit for a certain number of minutes. For many years, Nelsen has been recommending a new type of time-out, a time-out that actually helps children develop valuable life skills.
What is the new time out?
In her books and lectures, Nelsen recommends time-out as a cool off period and deems a calm down time out an appropriate tool for all family member - kids and adults. "Knowing when to take time to calm down and cool off to gain access to inner wisdom and common sense is an important life skill" writes Nelsen in her book, Positive Time-Out and Over 50 Ways to Avoid Power Struggles in the Home and Classroom (Three Rivers Press, 1999).
One life skill children learn from a calming time-out is how to self-sooth and they learn to solve problems and work on solutions only after they are calm and after parents have calmed down too. A second life lesson comes after parent and child have calmed down. In the Positive Time-Out book, Nelsen stresses the importance of parents following through after the time-out. "Sometimes children need to make amends when their behavior has been hurtful or destructive....Brainstorm with your child about how to fix what has been broken or how to help someone feel better if they have been hurt."
Parents can read more about positive time out in the following web articles:
- Positive Time-Out - You First by Jane Nelsen
- Jared's Cool Off Space Inspires Another Creative Positive Time-Out Space by Josie Sinnamon
- An Excerpt from the book, Positive Time Out by Jane Nelsen
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