photo by Kate Uhry Photography
According to the knot, the average age for a bride in Connecticut is 30. But what happens if you don’t fit into that nifty little statistic? Navigating a wedding (or even a romance) in your forties is not the same as it is for that starry-eyed girl you were in your twenties. Lets face it, for research when googling “planning a wedding in your forties”, all that came up was “vintage”. There are not a lot of tools out there to help an a-typical bride. By forty, you are more savvy and sexy, so approach your wedding planning in the same way you would your life!
Perhaps you are on your second marriage, you have kids, and a mortgage to pay. Or for some, this is their first time around, and you waited (amongst all odds) to hold out, and found him on a business trip mid-air, exchanging business cards--bully for you. The point is, that planning your wedding in your forties is not the same as planning a wedding in your twenties.
Integrating the families.
Try to integrate your families by including your children in the ceremony. If you have small children let them be part of the ceremony (flower girls, best man, ring barer, let them read a poem, or carry the guest book). If your children are in their teens, ask them how they would like to participate (teens can be, petulant and sometimes unpredictable) hearing out your teen and what they want is important. Don’t push anything on them they can’t or don’t want to participate in. You are about to combine your families, not just yourselves. Listen, and practice patience. Another suggestion, from Dr. Janine H. Burns, is to have couples give a ring, bracelet or necklace to the children and recite vows to them to commemorate the creation of their new family.
First time around.
While you may have a more demure manner in regards to your wedding, you can still participate in the traditional wedding hoopla. While you may want to forgo a bridal shower (most people in their forties don’t need a traditional kitchen shower), you can still celebrate with an engagement party. While having an over-the-top huge wedding at forty may seem garish to some, if this is what you want, then why not? You should, and can, celebrate in whatever manner is appealing to you. Letitia Baldridge (American etiquette expert) said; “People can get married any way they please… It's all about getting through life in the best and happiest way. ....” Amen to that.
For more info:
Buy Letitia Baldrige's, New Manners for New Times: A Complete Guide to Etiquette. Also, Getting Married When It’s Not your First Time: An etiquette guide and wedding planner, by Pamela Hill Nettleton
Where to shop: Shop your local bookstore!
Book Exchange 311 East Street, Plainville, CT 06062 Phone: (860) 747-0770|Bookends 2 351 Main Street, East Hartford, CT 06118 Phone: (860) 568-0100|Bookworm 968 Farmington Avenue Suite 1, West Hartford, CT 06107 Phone: (860) 233-2653|Brick Walk Bookshop 322 Park Road, West Hartford, CT 06119 Phone: (860) 233-1730
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