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The Misadventures of Catfish and Cutbait: Using "Neanderthal" for bait

You, the readers of the "Small Town Travel" articles were introduced to Catfish and Cutbait last week, and you were promised reoccurring tales of the exploits of the "dagnamic duo," so set back and get your second installment of these catfishing legends, who call an area on the Tennessee River between Savannah, Tennessee and Interstate 40 their stomping grounds.

It was a warm August morning, and Catfish and Cutbait were checking a trot-line near the Saltillo Landing. As they moved their boat along, checking each hook and re-baiting them with shad, a fast and fancy fishing boat came zooming down the river, and up to their location, almost swamping their boat. Cutbait, who was standing up in the smaller fishing boat, was knocked off his feet and landed in the bottom of the boat with a thud.

"Hey, you rednecks," Came an annoying voice from the fancy boat, "You two rejects from a pig farm, catching any fish?" The boys recognized the voice and the boat immediately. They both belonged to a big bully of a man they called "Neanderthal," because of his big hairy stature and protruding brow. He had his sidekick, "Ditto" with him. They called him Ditto because he tried to do and say everything his overgrown buddy did. Neanderthal and Ditto were already swigging down the beer.

Before Catfish or Cutbait could answer, Neanderthal angrily repeated his question as Catfish and Cutbait held onto the sides of their rocking boat, "I said have you two caught any fish?" Cutbait looked up at the bruiser and replied, "No they ain't biting." , Neanderthal grinned and threw his empty beer bottle over into the bottom of Catfish and Cutbait's boat, and said, "You lug-heads can't catch any fish anyway; y'all are using the wrong kind of bait!"

With this said, he revved up the powerful boat and shot away. At this same moment Ditto stood up and tried to hoist his beer bottle into the other boat too, but the swiftness of the boat was to much for him and he fell backwards, just as the bottle left his hand. It was a beautiful arch that the bottle created as it tumbled through the air. As it reached the high point of the arch, Catfish and Cutbait watched in utter glee as the projectile started its downward decent and hit Neanderthal in the back of his head. After a couple of seconds of disbelief and pain, Neanderthal began a heated screaming session at Ditto. This continued until they were out of sight.

As Catfish and Cutbait finished running their lines, they were surprised to see the fancy boat coming back towards them so soon. Something was wrong this time, a pale-faced Neanderthal was at the wheel. Ditto sat near the back of the boat rubbing his head as if he had been walloped by his partner, but the strange thing about the whole thing was the large fishing hook that was stuck through Neanderthal's bottom lip. It still had Ditto's fishing line tied to it.

The embedded video is not about Catfish and Cutbait, but they have had some similar adventures.

Cutbait yelled to the two, "Y'all catch anything?" When no one answered, he smiled and yelled back to the two men and said, "No wonder; you're using the wrong kind of bait!"

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