I have to say this up-front: the attached You Tube video is extremely explicit and not appropriate for children to hear HOWEVER if your child has see/heard this, use it as a teachable moment to tell him/her that this is NOT the way to get a girlfriend or an acceptable way to start a relationship with a boy. Tell your kids that what's advised in this tape is flat out WRONG (don't water the word down by saying "inappropriate" or "not nice") and instruct them to report an incident like this to an adult they trust and the police if one of their friends does this or goes through something like this as described.
The video starts off silently for the first two minutes but displays the words of what this - gosh, what exactly do I call him? - sex assault proponent says in the audio tape that begins 1/2 way through the video. What's worse is that this sex assault proponent is some kind of celebrity who kids think is cool. (Ok, I'm reading something here that formally labels him as a "Hip Hop Artist".)
This is not another one of those "mainland problems" that we don't have here in Hawaii. Sexual assault (forced, unwanted sexual contact) affects 1 out of every 3 women (1 out of every 6 boys) while domestic violence affects 1 out of every 4 women. What does sexual assault have to do with DV? See for yourself: http://www.ncdsv.org/images/PowerControlwheelNOSHADING.pdf
Whenever someone's caught for wrongdoing, some form of the following questions are initially asked:
- What were you thinking?!
- Where'd you learn that from?!
- Who taught you to do that?!
There'll be a concrete answer to those questions if any kids heard what this sex assault proponent advised because the message for the motive is clear.
If anyone had any doubt about the support for Hollywood or celebrity messaging, here's a perfect example. Apparently, this whole thing started 10 days ago on Valentine's Day during a broadcast by a popular teen magazine. The segment was pulled down almost immediately but that it went up in the first place/at all is just beyond comprehension but it gets worse...
As you might imagine "the industry" responded by promptly suspending staff and the sex assault proponent went back on-air to "respond" to all the hullabaloo. http://www.hiphopdx.com/index/news/id.18688/title.too-short-responds-to-advice-video-backlash-tells-cnns-nancy-grace-to-shut-up/ Throughout this entire interview, not once does he apologize or even express remorse for the potential damage he's done; instead, he justifies, explains and attempts to diffuse all the negative criticism (unfairly) coming his way because none of us can "take a joke".
While the sex assault proponent defends himself, he makes no attempt to defend the person who allowed his advice to be heard in the first place: the magazine's Editor-in-Chief, and she's in hot water with two organizations (MomsRising and Color Of Change) http://colorofchange.org/ loudly calling for her resignation. If you're interested in signing on to the petition calling for the Editor-in-Chief's resignation, it can be found here: http://action.momsrising.org/letter/XXLmotherlyadvice/?akid=3137.53841.TW_rrb&rd=1&t=3
Skeptics might wave this off as a "flash in the pan" but if we tolerate and condone celebrities and venues that help to spread such criminal activity (PLEASE don't forget that sex assault IS a crime no matter who the victim and perpetrator are to each other!) and don't send a strong message back that content like this is completely unacceptable, then we're actually supporting people like this sex assault proponent who should be in a pillory instead of a recording studio.
Trust me on this one: you DON'T want to be the parent looking into your daughter's tear-filled eyes or staring at your son in disbelief asking "What were you thinking?!" so let's do something to stop this before, not after, it happens.
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