Skip to main content
Report this ad

The Living Dead in Memphis


The following is based on a true story:Living Dead / MEMPHIS

It has been completely exaggerated for entertainment purposes only. It is not meant to be taken seriously.
Read with a raspy, painful voice outloud for a better effect. 

WARNING: Some content may be disturbing. Nothing is being done to protect the innocent.

Resistance Log – December 23, 2009
Time: 7:00 PM
Location: Memphis TN.

It seemed like a wonderful night to catch a movie – my wife, our niece and I weren’t the only ones with that idea. James Cameron’s AVATAR was one of the most promising movies to ever be released to the big screen and had caused one of the longest lines I’d ever seen.

Standing in line to purchase tickets your outside – at least that’s how it’s set up at the Cordova MALCO Theatre - you’d think you’d be safe from the afterbirth of the butt-suckers – Not so.

My wife and niece were engaged in their Twilight / New Moon talks - Which was cooler? Vampires or Werewolves? - when suddenly there was an odor. It wasn’t of the invisible gas sorts, I’d done that earlier in the car, but the kind that arises when there’s one of them among you – the living dead – Society’s Terminators (STs)!

STs have no regard for life – especially their own. They embrace death wholeheartedly and want to die and kill slowly trying to satisfy an immense craving for 4000 things, 69 of which are known cancer agents all combined into single doses and administered through sucking the ass end of a cigarette.

At first you can’t identify an ST – they’re well disguised, hosted in virtually anyone. But it doesn’t take long for them to blow their cover. They get the shakes when the cravings start – and when they light up close to me, so do I.

To may surprise it was a few young women between the ages of 17 and 30 – It’s hard to gauge how old STs are, feeding the craving accelerates the aging process – and when death is desired so badly who cares?

Being holistic and trying desperately to live a healthy life, I do not want to be subjected to Butt-Sucking STs and their craving for death – because I do not want cancer nor do I want to smell the hideous odor. I also feel compelled to try and save others from the slow painful death – yes even try and re-educate and reprogram the Terminators – they were once human after all.

When I saw the wave of gray death reaching toward us, I pulled in a deep breath and nudged my wife and niece out if the way. It was close. That was when I turned to warn others and I saw a pregnant woman standing there smiling having a good time – but she was out of reach – the cancer cloud invaded her and stole the smile from her face. I could see the worry overcome her as she reached down and held her unborn child – Her face expressed the question -“Is it going to affect my baby?”

I’m tired of being molested and unable to stop the rape of the innocent by these warped, addicted beings.
I believe it should be the people’s right to protect themselves – Isn’t that why we have a government and elected officials? But until they want to do their jobs and protect the people from death and harm, we need to work together in every way possible to protect ourselves.

This is not the beginning, but it’s time to end. 

If your reading this... you can read.

This is Rob Conner - Out.


Freedom of choice and the right to protect ourselves is very important.
People who choose to smoke have that right. But should they be allowed to impose their smoke on others?
This spoof is intended to be used as an anti-smoking, freedom of choice and protection campaign. Any views are welcome and greatly appreciated.     
If you have a smoking story (pro or con) you'd like to submit for exaggeration with Rob Connor - send it to:

Here are the facts: Reported by Tri-County Cessation Center

Cigarette Ingredients
Chemicals in Tobacco Smoke

There are over 4,000 chemicals in tobacco smoke and at least 69 of those chemicals are known to cause cancer. The list of 599 additives approved by the US Government for use in the manufacture of cigarettes is something every smoker should see. Submitted by the five major American cigarette companies to the Dept. of Health and Human Services in April of 1994, this list of ingredients had long been kept a secret.

Tobacco companies reporting this information were:
American Tobacco Company
Brown and Williamson
Liggett Group, Inc.
Philip Morris Inc.
R.J. Reynolds Tobacco Company

While these ingredients are approved as additives for foods, they were not tested by burning them, and it is the burning of many of these substances which changes their properties, often for the worse. Over 4000 chemical compounds are created by burning a cigarette – 69 of those chemicals are known to cause cancer. Carbon monoxide, nitrogen oxides, hydrogen cyanides and ammonia are all present in cigarette smoke. Forty-three known carcinogens are in mainstream smoke, sidestream smoke or both. It's chilling to think about not only how smokers poison themselves, but what others are exposed to by breathing in the secondhand smoke. The next time you're missing your old buddy, the cigarette, take a good long look at this list and see them for what they are: a delivery system for toxic chemical and carcinogens.

Click here for more info.

Share any results you have from this article with

Be sure to scroll down to the bottom and share any thoughts and comments you have with J! 

Did you enjoy this article?

 Subscribe to be alerted by email when J posts a new article!  

For more life coaching tips check out J's other articles! 

Is J one of your favorite examiners?

***It is recommended that you seek the advice of your Medical Practitioner before beginning any exercise or diet program.

© The 5 No Matter Whats, M.O.E., Q.I.T. Dieting Program J. Spicer -CHLC



Report this ad