She's back! Everyone's favorite child of the courts has yet again been given the Judge Judy treatment.
I mean, come on, are we only supposed to remember this gifted thespian by her frequent arrests, her vulnerability to pipes and white powder, her joy in hoisting glasses of alcohol to her parched lips, her ability to get into accidents and leave the scene, her supposed penchant for liking jewelery and feeling she, as Linday Lohan, can simply take it and her uncanny ability to be photographed without underwear (okay, the latter is not such a bad thing). No, I say, she should be remembered for her contributions to health and diet. As a matter-of-fact, I think the world should contact the Pope and even see if there is a possibility she can be canonized for possible sainthood!
Now because Lindsay, quite obviously, likes confined spaces, I have developed this diet to be high in carbs. It is also important that she maintain a great deal of bodily fluids. Due to the fact she is Lindsay Lohan, a celebrity of high (no pun intended) status, this diet needs to reflect her. So, our Lindsay Lohan Celebrity Jailhouse Diet will consist of gourmet bread and bottled water -- and of course I will share with you the special recipe for the bread and as far as the water in concerned, why Perrier, of course!
Ingredients needed to make Lindsay Lohan Lockdown Diet (makes about 8 pieces):
- 4 cups flour
- 1 1/2 cups warm water
- 1 1/2 tsp. yeast
- 1 Tbs. honey
- 1 tsp. salt
- Place the flour in a large bowl and set aside.
- In a medium bowl, whisk together the water, yeast and honey. Set side 10 minutes for the yeast to proof (foam)
- Stir the proofed yeast and salt into the flour to form a dough (it will be a drier than usual bread dough, so don't think you did anything wrong).
- Place the dough on a floured surface and knead 10 minutes. This will be a workout since the dough is stiff (Lindsay might want to consider this as her exercise time).
- Place the dough back into the bowl, cover and let rise 90 minutes.
- Pre-heat oven to 375 degrees. Line a baking sheet with parchment paper.
- Remove the dough to a floured surface and roll out to about 1/8-inch thickness. Cut the rolled out dough into discs.
- Place the pieces of dough on the prepared pan and brush with olive oil and top with salt, celery seeds, garlic powder -- basically whatever tastes you want.
- Place in the oven and bake around 20 minutes or until golden brown in color.
- Remove from the oven and place on a rack until cool and ready to be slipped under the jail doors.
The new cookbook from Chef Larry Edwards is now available from Amazon.com and bookstores worldwide. One of the most anticipated cookbooks of the year, "Edwardian Cooking: Inspired by Downton Abbey's Elegant Meals."