Everyone has a different definition of what constitutes a lie. Many don’t believe withholding information is lying and others don’t think it’s lying if you’re trying to protect someone else. Simply, lying is hiding the truth. It’s a fine line this lie stuff, but maybe the hardest lie to admit to is the ones we tell ourselves.
We do it all the time, sometimes without even realizing it. We lie to ourselves to prevent stress, to postpone hurt, to ignore the root of problems that we don’t have the time or energy to tackle. In relationships, there are times when we might say we are ‘fine’ when nothing could be further from the truth. While this may be frustrating to others, it may be the only answer we can handle giving at that time. Lying to ourselves can often happen when logic gets tangled up with emotions. We think one thing but feel another. Which is the truth and which is the lie? And, which will we choose to believe?
Even when logically we know a relationship may not be good for us, sometimes our emotions won’t let us to fully disentangle ourselves from it. We may gloss over the truth in order to keep us in the relationship that we have grown accustomed to. One of the biggest lies I’ve told myself in friendships, relationships and even advice I’ve given to others is: love conquers all.
It’s such a beautiful concept that I wholeheartedly want to believe it, even as I say it, but if I’m being honest with myself I know it’s not true. If it was true, people would never break up or get divorced, lose friendships or get their hearts broken.
The truth is that we don’t need love to conquer all. It’s not going anywhere. Luckily, we have that as our constant, when the confusion and insecurity that comes with dishonesty threatens to ruin it, we can always take it back to that beginning; erasing all lies that we cling to so that the truth can be revealed, whatever it may be.
It's up to us to choose a direction so that we can open our eyes to the truth and move forward. Love requires action. Even if we are unsure about our next step, we take it so that we don't have to stay stuck trying to figure out a lie.