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The importance of vulnerability in a love relationship

Young Romantic Couple
Young Romantic Couple

When you love someone, there is always a certain amount of risk involved. There is always the chance that the relationship might not work out. Even if the relationship does work out, death can suddenly snatch your loved one away. Life happens, and life is not always perfect. Losing a love is one of the most difficult losses one must endure. It can lead to isolation, depression, and a deep seated fear of loving someone else again. After all, if you do not love again you will never feel that pain again from loss.

The problem with this is that when you shut yourself down from feeling pain, you also simultaneously shut yourself down from feeling joy. They go hand in hand. Until you experience one, you will never fully experience the other.

As writer C.S. Lewis wrote, “To love at all is to be vulnerable. Love anything and your heart will be wrung and possibly broken. If you want to make sure of keeping it intact you must give it to no one, not even an animal. Wrap it carefully round with hobbies and little luxuries; avoid all entanglements. Lock it up safe in the casket or coffin of your selfishness. But in that casket, safe, dark, motionless, airless, it will change. It will not be broken; it will become unbreakable, impenetrable, irredeemable. To love is to be vulnerable.” -C.S. Lewis, The Four Loves

When you find yourself surviving the loss of a love, give yourself time to heal…but don’t give up on loving again. God gave humanity the capacity to love, and even though the love we have will never be as perfect as God’s love…it is better than not loving at all. Let the tears you shed be a healing rain to your soul. Let mistakes made be a life lesson never to be repeated. Open your heart and be receptive to love. There are no guarantees that you will never be hurt again. There is a guarantee, however, that you will not suffer the numbness of feeling nothing in a world filled with both joy and sorrow. You will experience life in its fullest capacity.