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The importance of emotional intimacy in a marriage

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Emotional intimacy is very important in a marriage. It goes deeper than a friendship, even deeper than the intimate relations shared between a husband and a wife.

Emotional intimacy addresses the deepest part of who you are. It is where you share with your spouse your most inner parts. You may think that this naturally occurs in a marriage but it really doesn’t.

You can be married for 10 years or more and lack emotional intimacy. Your entire marriage can be built on nothing but surface stuff. You talk about your day, what you like or don’t like. But you don’t get to the nitty gritty of what makes you who you are.

If your spouse wants to know how your day was, can you get to a place that is beyond, “It was terrible”? Perhaps there was something that occurred that day which reminded you of a painful moment in the past. Would you be able to express that? Or would you just stick to, “It was terrible”? Your answer will help determine if you truly have emotional intimacy in your marriage.

Emotional intimacy requires vulnerability and trust. If you don’t feel comfortable making yourself vulnerable to your spouse or if trust is missing or greatly depleted, it is impossible to reach that deep level of emotional intimacy.

Sometimes the lack of trust isn’t in something your spouse has done but you lack trust from within. You have been hurt by others in the past, so you choose to put up a wall. Sometimes it will require breaking down our own walls before we can experience that wonderful place of emotional intimacy.

Think about the ways you can connect to your spouse on an emotional level and take the necessary steps to get there. Emotional intimacy is very important to your marriage.

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