The importance of allowing a child to say no at times

 

All parents deal with hearing the word no differently. In some homes, it is not allowed to be spoken and results in a scolding. Some parents overlook the word no and try to negotiate a child into compliance. Other parents try to evaluate the child's tone of voice that accompanies the no being spoken in order to discern their child's attitude and the appropriate parental response.

 

Whatever a parent's philosophy about the word no, it is important to allow children to say no at times. They should not be able to make choices that are unhealthy and harmful or beyond their years and maturity level. But as children grow up and become more independent and begin to face the evil in the world on their own, they need to know how to say no, particularly when they are threatened or in danger.

 

The best place for children to learn how to say no is in the safety of their own homes. Parents can integrate decisions into a child's daily life in which they are allowed to say no. For a two year old, it may involve letting a child choose between two options, like drinking milk or juice at lunch. For a six year old, it may involve letting him choose the extracurricular activity he would like to participate in by allowing him to say no to the ones he does not want to do. At each stage of childhood and under the watchful eye of their parents, a child should be given some age appropriate decisions to make and the freedom to say yes or no.

 

That does not mean it is permissible for a child's response to be defiant, whiny or rude. Children should to be taught to say no respectfully and kindly, but they also need to see that their no means something and is respected by their parents and family. Children that can say no in age appropriate decisions in every day life will be much more confident and better prepared to say no in the future when they face evil or danger.