I was born and raised here in America, my parents were Americans , My father served this country well and I have never desired to live in another country because of my religion. I would love to learn and experience the rituals of making Hajj and learning about my African Ancestors in Africa however I am appreciative of the life I live here, I am a true product of my environment.I love the religion of Islam and since becoming a Muslim over twenty years now, I desire to be nothing other than a true Muslim
Prior to that dreadful day of September 11th I have had to endure employment discrimination and educational discrimation toward my muslim children being ridiculed, disrobbed publicly by their teachers intending to humiliate and embarrass them because they were Muslims in addition to countless acts some of which were criminal and sexualy explicit; after years of complaints, paper trails of school staff and these horrible and unthinkable incidents made to my virgin Muslim daughters, I sought the aid of a lawyer, because I had no money this high profile lawyer in my state took on my case and the monetary goal sought for all the damages started at twelve million dollars, according to the law we could not lose, this treatment was clearly discriminatory and even more emotionally devastating to my entire family. The abuses from the staff at the school and that permeated to the students made our life seem unbearable. Our rights were violated on many levels and finally we believed that someone would be held accountable for the pain and suffering we endured at the hands of so called educators and professionals.
This is just a prelude to an event that happened one week after 9/11. There is more of this to come.
On that morning as I watched the television in horror and questioning what was really going on as the rest of the world. I could not help but cry, and empathize with the victims, nothing that I saw with my own eyes made any sense to me. I felt as if many had been killed as a result of the crashes however I never imagined the numbers would be so high. When word came down about the pentagon I became even more mortified and concerned if maybe our city would be next.
I recall rushing to the school and fearing that my daughters would be hurt if they even thought to walk home, I already was accepting of the fact that the people I entrusted their care to during school hours didnt care about my Muslim children and the issue was not a black , white or arab thing it was simply a Muslim problem.
When I reached the school it was nothing but chaos on every floor and everyone seemed to be in a panic. I was able to find my children safe and unharmed in the company of another Muslim who worked security for the school. I bought my children home and the ride home became a shouting match with other drivers , I recall sitting in my car parked with my children in the car, I was holding a conversation with my cousin who I had not seen in awhile and suddenly my car is surrounded by seven or eight police , guns drawn and demanding that I lift my Niqab (face veil) they said this was procedure and when I questioned why they told me they wanted to be sure I wasnt a man. I could continue with the many horror stories about the refusal of service of some establishments and just the blatant ignorance of others shouting at me and my girls in the streets, it became an internal war in my own city and neighborhood.
I at the time was in an abusive relationship and desperately trying to get out of a marriage that was not good for me or my children and leaving was difficult yet when I made the decision to leave I walked into a courthouse to get a restraining order and was prepared to go into a shelter for battered women, I thought after countless attempts to reach out to my community which at the time had no resources for women in this position that what I was doing was a definite step in the right direction, or that is what I believed until the counselour pulled a Quran off her bookshelf and turned to a page that she had folded down and says to me" well why would you follow a religion that clearly says he can beat you , so why are you really here if you want to stay Muslim" You are just going to keep going through this because this is a part of your laws!
I remember sitting there blank for what felt like forever , my mind was racing with about a thousand thoughts a second and the tears began to roll down my face and I kindly stood up and walked out of her office , out of the building and walked three blocks before I decided to get on the bus to take me back home to my abuser. All that I could think about were ways to remain out of his way until I found a way to get help.( How dangerous was this?)
Well by this time, the lawyer that I had spoken of earlier called me and said that although we had been on this case for the past three years he can no longer represent me and my family regardless of all that we endured and how we were sure to win until the title of Terrorist can be associated with everyone claiming to be Muslim. He further stated he didnt want any backlash on his practice. I was no longer his client and since then has never returned my files or anything that we had worked on for years. He just hanged up the phone and I never heard from him again.
As a Muslim woman that has been blessed to understand true Islam and knowing that what was done had nothing to do with practice of this beautiful religion. I had no desire to leave my clothing off while I would tend to business in the community nor did I find shame in my ability to defend Islam at every opportunity that presented itself to me.
Being raised with strong family values , a genuine love for my religion ,my distaste for the scrutiny, mistreatment and openly accepted discrimination of many Muslims, I desired to be treated like a human being with dignity and wanted this for all the Muslim families in America as well. I wanted to make a change small or large that would put a positive spin on how the Muslim is viewed, building sustainable relationships with service providers based on ethics and integrity , dispelling the many myths associated with Islam and Muslims so that a gap could be closed to the ignorance and opened up to the deference of makind.
I would not change who I was or what I was because what I believed and have been blessed to do on a small level that has since spearheaded other faithbased organizations to do the same really did make a difference in my life and the life of many others.
I began to educate the laymen, the lawyer, the judge, the doctors, whoever would listen about the difference of the Muslim Populations and the differences between religous values and cultural values. Our community still relies on a system that lack a real understanding of what most of us truly believe in as well as how we live. Unreliable and hype media stereotyping and ignorance is what most non Muslims have taken as their "What it means to be a Muslim guide for dummies" and for this the increase in islamaphobia. Not to blame everything on the media but they have played a major part in all of this.
The innovative opportunity to educate; mediate and build a network of providers that were "Muslim Friendly" as well as being able to educate providers that understood the impact of our community in society was ideal to starting a effective dialogue that would promote positive outcomes in their practices and our treatment.
This has now become my life's work and for certain there are always struggles with being the square that doesn't fit in the box and most people that know me personally know that I always say "Whose box is it anyway" I am grateful that Allah is using me as a voice and a vessel on this level to do my part in setting the record straight about what real Islam is about and how we are (most of us anyway) law abiding citizens that are productive members of society that are doing what we have to do to live a normal life in a society that is not "Muslim Friendly"
My goal to make a difference on any level has meant so much as a Muslim living in my country that I love in addition to my ability to protect my fellow brothers and sisters from possibly experiencing undue scrutiny or discrimation and finally being able to help a provider to become receptive to learning about the populations that they treat and manage has been one of the most rewarding changes in my life as a result of 9/11.
Now because I personally havent spoken about the many victims of 9/11 and I chose to speak about this to show that regardless of the ignorance of others I never allowed it to dictate how I treat my fellow mankind. The more we understand something the less we fear it and I believe this is what needs to be done, open up the doors to understanding and respect can and will make a difference.
We have all been affected by the true test of 9/11 and most of us should realize this is a test that is still a part of everyday lives. I say this because we need to all take a critical look at where are we in this stage of all of this with the increased scrutiny of Muslims, The continuos loss of life of our service men and women, the mistreatment of the men,women and children overseas and the constant suggestion that the actions of the terrorist was fueled by their belief in Islam. These are problems still ongoing and permeating other systems regardless of what positive things have been done since the beginning of this, we have to accept that the increase of hate crimes such as 'Quran burning sessions" , Muslim Bashing Sessions and so much more is adding to the increase of islamaphobia. So what we also need to consider as another reality is that this just means that our work of educating, mediating and networking is not done!
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