Hulk hates teaming up with the X-Men.
The Hulk teams-up
I have to admit I was pretty excited about picking up Hulk Team-Up #1 this week. Mainly due to the back up story being written by Comic Book Club’s Alex Zalben. Not that I know the guy or anything, but you know how people try to find connections between themselves and celebrities? It’s like that. He reads comics, I read comics. He has a couch, I have a couch. Anyhoo, more on his story in a moment.
Hulk Team-Up opens with two strikes against it. One: it features the overused X-Men, cause we've never seen that before. Two: it takes place during the early Jeph Loeb Hulk issues. I really hated those issues. I haven’t read in-continuity X-Men in years, so there are some things that were a little new to me. For instance, the X-Men have apparently moved to California, where this story takes place, and discovered that everyone is more accepting there. Yeah, Californians talk a big game, but wait until they need to vote on Proposition X, then we’ll see how accepting they are. Also, apparently Iceman changed his hair color to brown, which he is allowed to do; I was simply unaware of this change.
X-Men Angel and Iceman are sent out to investigate the earthquakes that are happening. Turns out, that it is only a fight between Hulk and the Red Hulk, where the Green Goliath is getting his purple britches handed to him. Angel and Iceman find Hulk’s tracks in the desert and follow them. They happen upon him getting attacked by robot harpies designed to look like Betty Ross Banner so that it confuses the Hulk. Thus, the team-up begins.
The story, written by Marc Sumerak, was fine, but it is light years above the Loeb stuff. Something I didn’t understand was when Angel attacked the robots. Again, I haven’t read X-Men in forever. My question is, if Angel could take out the robots like he did, why didn’t he simply do that from the beginning? And why was he remorseful for doing so? Hello, they’re robots.
Sanford Greene’s pencils seemed to be all over the place. Some panels looked awesome, while others looked like the characters were triple jointed and that they had a face melting disease. If Greene can fine-tune his skill then I have no doubt that he’ll be a top name in the business.
Okay time for the back-up story written by Alex Zalben. This features a team-up between Hulk and Dazzler. Yes, you read that right: Hulk and Dazzler. Okay, I have to tell you that I read this story twice. Not because it is THAT good, but because I needed to get in the right mind frame to do so.
It opens with Bruce Banner at a local bar in San Francisco during open mic night. He goes there on open mic night, because no one is there, and he can drink his club soda in peace while feeling sorry for himself. In a quirky happenstance, mega pop star Dazzler walks in to warm up her vocals for her gig the following night. This upsets Banner, because good singing is worse than bad singing? He proceeds to stop her, but then ends up dancing with her. Again, you’re reading that correctly. Dazzler enjoys it so much, that she sticks out her tail feather and gives Banner a ticket to her show.
He reluctantly goes to the show and pushes his way up to the front. Dazzler pulls Dr. Banner on stage, a la Bruce Springsteen’s Born in the U.S.A., where she proceeds to kiss him, only for it to be cut short before payday by people snapping pictures. This upsets Banner and he Hulk’s out. Dazzler’s band attacks him and gets swatted to the side. There’s a Hulk and Dazzler fight…sort of…it’s actually more of a tiff, and the story ends with Bruce Banner clicking his heals.
My initial reaction to this had a few explicatory words in it, and I don’t curse. After I calmed down, and reverted back from the Blue Hulk, I reread it with Alex in mind. What a difference that made. This story is freaking hilarious. I loved everything from the song lyrics, to the creepy helpful bartender that follows Bruce to the concert because he likes to see things through. The name of Dazzler’s opening band was awesome. I really enjoy Zalben’s sense of humor. I hope that he gets more chances to write comics. I think his style would be perfect for Booster Gold or even She-Hulk.
Something in the story did stick out to me. Banner is thinking to himself that he can't let his guard down or people he cares about get hurt. The only people that got hurt in this story were Dazzler's Band. I didn't realize there was such a strong connection between Bruce and the band.
The artwork by Joyce Chin, however, left a lot to be desired. I have no idea how hard it is to draw a comic, but I would at least draw backgrounds. There are hardly any backgrounds in this story, and the ones that are look awkward. On the last page, the San Francisco Bridge looks to be heading down in to the water. Maybe it’s still broken from when Magneto used it in X-Men 3.
I would like to note that in both stories Bruce Banner said, "Not now. Not like this." You don't like turning in to the Hulk when getting attacked by robot harpies. You don't like turning in to the Hulk when you're trying to get some play and people are taking your picture. When do you like turning in to the Hulk, Dr. Banner? When?
Overall, I am really glad that I picked this up. It’s not going to shake up the Hulk’s world in any way, but it was a fun read. Once I got the joke, Alex Zalben’s story alone was worth the pick up.
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