There are only a few promises to marriage, why do we find them so difficult to abide by. Well, not everyone finds them hard to live by. But it seems that, to many, the vows are just words, yet some are quick to refer to them at convenience. Love, cherish, honor or respect and there for one to draw from as though they holding the winning card. These are areas to live by every day, are you doing that.
Is it interesting to note that each spouse is given direct commands by God that are without condition. There are no exceptions to the commands for either husbands or wives, with the one caveat for wives that they submit to their husbands “as unto the Lord” – so I understand this to mean that if a husband asks his wife to directly violate God’s Word.
God’s authority and the authority of His Word trump the husband’s authority. For example, if a husband tells his wife to steal, have an abortion, lie on the taxes, get drunk, do drugs, put something/someone above God in her heart, go to a strip club with him, etc. Some would say it is a wife’s duty and responsibility before God to respectfully and firmly refuse to cooperate with such sin.
Are you thinking, “oh no, another God application to marriage.” No one is suggesting that you should put God first in your marriage, after all your approach has worked wonders. It is probably comforting to know that the lack of respect you get as your role in the marriage is a direct reflection of the level of time, love and respect you apply to your marriage. Do you honor your spouse? Do you respect your spouse?
God does not command us to respect sin. And He does not command us to cooperate with sin, addictions, infidelity, physical abuse, etc. If there are major problems like this in your marriage, that goes way beyond the scope of this article, please find godly, mature, wise, experienced counsel. The way a husband treats his wife is an indicator of the depth of his love, respect and reverence for God.
A husband’s love for his wife is gift to her that springs from his love, obedience and reverence for Christ. A wife cannot force her husband to obey God and to love her as Christ loves her. It is a gift he gives willingly because He loves and honors Jesus, so he loves and honors his wife. However you answered the before mentioned questions, think about this: if a husband is working to honor his wife, it will be easier for his wife to respect him.
Likewise, if a wife is working to show respect to her husband, it will encourage him to honor her. It’s not guaranteed. I know women who have been faithfully loving and respectful of their husbands for years…while the husbands treated them like live-in-maids and slept with other women regularly. At the same time, many men have worked hard to truly adore and honor their wives only to wake up one morning and find that she’s left.
Despite their best efforts, the other person was unwilling to hold up their end of the marriage. Which begs the question, what did those vows mean to you? If your marriage was just described than what’s missing. If you’re not willing to apply some sort of faith, maybe that’s what’s missing. Surly no marriage is perfect but on the flip side of the coin, not everyone has a spouse who has their mental bags packed and one leg out the door either. Maybe you won’t ever apply a belief in God to your marriage, but ask yourself. What beliefs are you applying and are they working.
More marriage articles: http://www.examiner.com/marriage-in-wichita-falls/jack-lopez