Understanding the world of non verbal communication is a practice in observation and people watching. So far in the previous two articles of this series we have discussed 3 of the 5 principles or c’s as they are also known as, of understanding and interpreting body language tells.
Body language must be observed in the context in which it is occurring. In order to be interpreted correctly, clusters of 2 or more non verbal tells should be present. Also, one should observe very closely for congruence or incongruence of what is being expressed verbally and what is being shown non verbally.
Consistency is the next principle or the 4th c that must be exercised in filtering and properly interpreting body language. The failure to adhere to this guideline can and has resulted in misreading the tells that have presented themselves.
Out of the billions of humans on the face of the planet, no two of us are exactly the same. We each have our idiosyncrasies, mannerisms and habits that are a reflection of how we interact with our environment . Just as there are multiple dialects of any given verbal language, the same can be said for nonverbal communication. For example, under normal non stressful situations, the average human blink rate will be between 6-8 blinks per minute. Often an above average blink rate could be an indication of increased stress levels and the individual is lying, or that this is normal and consistent for this person.
If you ever watch the A&E program “The First 48”, you will notice that at the beginning of the interrogation, the detectives will often make certain that the suspect is comfortable, and start the interview off by asking a series of non threatening questions. This is done so that the base line for consistent nonverbal tells can be determined. You will also notice that there will be multiple detectives observing the interview from another room watching for the suspect’s base line body language and for changes in that body language as the interview becomes more stressful and the questions more threatening. These changes in body language, whether it be distancing, covering the mouth while answering questions, little eye contact or too much eye contact can be indications of deception.
There is a reason that potential employers often start interviews off with questions about where you are from, about your family, the weather. These are usually low stress, non threatening questions that establish a body language base line that is consistent with you. As the interview becomes directed with questions about your qualifications or why you left your last employer, deviations from your base line, which my indicate that you are not being forthright on your answers. This may prompt the interviewers to ask more detailed questions and possibly disqualify you from further consideration for employment.
So in concluding, please note that it is extremely important in the practice of interpreting body language that the above principles be strictly adhered to. The next and final article of this series will discuss how different cultures can affect how we interpret non verbal communication.
Remember that in the world of communication, it is not always what you say, but what you show.
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