This article is the fourth part of a six part series.
"3. Don’t Make Assumptions. Find the courage to ask questions and to express what you really want. Communicate with others as clearly as you can to avoid misunderstandings, sadness and drama. With just this one agreement, you can completely transform your life.” The Four Agreements by don Miguel Ruiz
Don't make assumptions. It is a very simple sentence, common sense really, but assuming things is amazingly easy to do without realizing it. Assumptions can be as simple as believing that everyone will be on time for the meeting to as complicated as being convinced that your significant other knows exactly what you want from your relationship or blindly believing that you know what they want. If you remember that everyone views the world from their own perspective (as was discussed in the previous article in this series) it is simple to see how assuming things can quickly lead to severe problems.
This agreement really can transform your life. Imagine a world where you don't wonder what is expected of you and your expectations of others are clear. There is no shame in asking if someone has not explained something clearly or if there is any chance of miscommunication. Being willing to ask questions is a sign of strength, not of weakness. Explaining yourself shows that you want the other person to understand. By being clear you are being respectful and polite, greasing the wheels of the universe around you. Clear communication, no matter what side of the conversation you are on, shows that you want to understand, that you care about the situation and the person or people involved. It shows that you have pride in yourself and your actions and want the people around you to succeed.
When people do things that go against your expectations, ask yourself why. What assumptions did they make? Which ones did you make? Problems almost always come down to assumptions being made on one or both sides.
If you don't know, ask. If you “think” you know, ask. If you are pretty sure what is expected from you, ask to confirm.
Previous articles in this series:
Toltec shamanism, Nagualism, and the Five Agreements
The Four Agreements: Be Impeccable with Your Word
The Four Agreements: Don't Take Anything Personally
Sites for further research (also used in this article):
Carlos Casteneda's Don Juan's Teachings
Books on Toltec shamanism are available locally at:
The Sacred Grove (also hosts local pagan events, check out their calendar)
