The family meal, an opportunity for positive parenting

With all change, there is always an opportunity. With  a poor economy comes the opportunity to have more family meals together. The family meal not only allows a parent or spouse time to connect on a positive level, but it also allows the opportunity to teach healthy meal options to improve the family lifestyle.

During the more prosperous years,  many families opted for "fast food." And who could blame them? In our rushed society, it is often easier to grab meal for the family on the go. However, by grabbing and eating we miss the opportunity to know each others, discuss family issues and learn about healthy food choices. With the economy in a recession more and more families need to stretch a dollar.

As many families are beginning to cook their own meals they have healthier options. It is no secret that whole grains offer you and your families much needed nutrients that are not in processed "white foods"such as bleached flour and white rice. There are even instant  versions of brown rice for the hurried cook as well as whole wheat pastas. A relatively inexpensive option for families is to go to the Farmers Market and buy seasonal produce as well as support your local farmers. These trips can be fun and educational at the same time. There is also the opportunity for the whole family to cook together which many couples learn to enjoy together and generally children love.

Once you have cooked your "healthy meal", there are some dos and don'ts regarding meal communication. Set some rules for your meals. I have a few suggestions:

1. Meal times should be pleasant, it is not the time to discipline your child about school etc. Meals should never be dreaded--sometimes this can lead to eating disorders.

2. Manners should be enforced. This is a terrific opportunity to  help your children learn social skills that will help him his entire life. A word of caution, make the enforcement of manners a pleasant, positive experience (as possible).

3. Try to keep discussions on the positive  aspects of the day. This will set the "mood" for the evening and allow opportunities to work with each child individually at another time on issues that are problematic.

4. Keep sibling bickering down as much as possible. Now is the time to enforce to your children that siblings should support each other. There are few greater gifts than a strong relationships between siblings in life.

5.Let everyone involved in a meal have a task, such as setting the table. This will emphasize that families "work together" and can enjoy the fruits of their labor together.

When doing family counseling, I recommend that families have at least 5 dinners together a week. Often mealtimes are the only times families and couples are together. I realize as children become teens, it will become more difficult because of scheduling and growing independence, however, often family meals are the place where a parent may pick up on troubling issues regarding teen problems. Again, this is not the time for strong discipline, but this is the time to sustain contact with each other and children, and often this is when a parent may notice troubling behaviors or if some thing is troubling your child.

A last point I would like to make, and I have a bias in this area, is to begin doing a little research regarding what foods are healthy and which are not. Read labels! If you can't pronounce it, maybe you need to find out what the ingredient is before your purchase. I believe we should cook with fresh ingredients as much as possible. I like to know exactly what my family eats. What are "healthy fats," and which foods are most necessary to buy organically. It may be very important to your budget as well as your families health. As a mental health professional, I believe a healthy body promotes a healthy mind and self esteem.

For information on local farmers markets go to www.oldtownfarmersmarket.com, states.farmersmarket.com/2400/wichita-ks-2 or www.fruitstands.com/state/kansas.htm

You may contact Cathy at this site or at cathyksadapt@yahoo.com or cathywalkerlmsw.blobspot.com, healthy recipes are included weekly on Cathy's blog. All comments or questions will be kept confidential if requested. Allow Cathy 7 days to respond to all correspondence.