Out in the Open, 2008
Photo Courtesy of Nancy Chan
In Richard Linklater’s Waking Life (2001), a dream figure explaining lucid dreaming to the main character says, “I can explore all these new dimensions of reality, not to mention I can have any kind of sex I want, which is way cool.” Many dreamers, new to lucid dreaming, are quick to discover the intensity and allure of dream sex. Some dreamers even claim it’s more intense than the real flesh act. When you wake up from the dream, you feel enthusiastic, excited and eager to try it again. Although this is one of the most popular incentives for lucid dreaming, what can readily go unnoticed are the limitations of the experience. Are there ethics for dream sex? Does the intensity come without consequence? Should one’s ethical point of view apply to a phenomenon of sleep?
Some negative effects can result from dream sex. In some cases, the intensity of dream intimacy makes you feel invincible, but afterwards this feeling can change. You may feel a general sense of guilt or like you’ve cheated on a partner. At its strictest, dream sex may feel wrong to a dreamer because lucid dreaming is about awareness. If you know you’re dreaming, it follows that you’re aware of the wrongness of the act with someone other than your partner.
- Practice and concentration are required.
- Try various lucid dreaming techniques to stay lucid longer. Once you've acquired some practice the chances of experiencing a fulfilling erotic dream will increase.
- If you go too fast, you’ll wake up. Don't be hasty. Take the time to enjoy the vividness of every detail.
- If you’re too eager, the dream may end or the dream partner may morph into someone less appealing.
- If your intention is to have dream sex with the first person you see, the considerations above apply along with a possible hostile encounter with an uninterested partner. Again, take your time and practice staying lucid.
- Keep in mind that it is your dream, but in order for erotic dreaming to flourish a balance must be maintained. This means harmony between you, your innermost desires and the dream partner in question.