The eroticism of lucid dreaming

Out in the Open, 2008
Photo Courtesy of Nancy Chan

In Los Angeles there are dozens of gentlemen's clubs and adult shops catering to our physical and visual appetites. From the Spearmint Rhino to the Hustler store in Hollywood, our desire to explore sexuality permeates through the city. Yet, unlike lucid dreams, a rich source for exploring fantasies and latent wishes, fulfilling these desires in physical reality can sometimes come at a high price. 

In Richard Linklater’s Waking Life (2001), a dream figure explaining lucid dreaming to the main character says, “I can explore all these new dimensions of reality, not to mention I can have any kind of sex I want, which is way cool.” Many dreamers, new to lucid dreaming, are quick to discover the intensity and allure of dream sex. Some dreamers even claim it’s more intense than the real flesh act. When you wake up from the dream, you feel enthusiastic, excited and eager to try it again. Although this is one of the most popular incentives for lucid dreaming, what can readily go unnoticed are the limitations of the experience. Are there ethics for dream sex? Does the intensity come without consequence? Should one’s ethical point of view apply to a phenomenon of sleep? 

If you believe that we should allow ourselves to experience life in its totality, the eroticism of lucid dreaming offers the dreamer a means to do so. Erotic dreaming can help examine various intimacy styles via virtual ‘safe’ sex, unleash your natural desires inside a shape-shifting environment and investigate the unrestricted imagination. After all, dreaming is a different reality so the conventional waking life rules need not apply. Right?

Some negative effects can result from dream sex. In some cases, the intensity of dream intimacy makes you feel invincible, but afterwards this feeling can change. You may feel a general sense of guilt or like you’ve cheated on a partner. At its strictest, dream sex may feel wrong to a dreamer because lucid dreaming is about awareness. If you know you’re dreaming, it follows that you’re aware of the wrongness of the act with someone other than your partner. 

Undoubtedly, dream sex can be pleasurable. Not only can you choose your dream partner, you can select any venue of your choice. The clouds. Rooftops. You name it. It can happen. But erotic dreaming isn’t easy. Here are some considerations to remember while exploring the parameters of erotic dreaming:

Whether or not there is an ethical approach to dreaming is entirely up to you. Only you can decide if it’s cheating, whether the guilt is enough to hinder you from the experience, or if you’re willing to deny yourself something very few experience in their lifetime.
 

For more info: Click "SUBSCRIBE" to receive notification of related articles.