Most marriages fail because couples get too complacent in their sex lives. The sex gets into a normal routine taking all of the fun out of why people have sex in the first place. When couples are first in love the sex together is new and exciting. Over time in a long term relationship the adventure and newness goes away and the sex becomes just a product of the marriage, leaving both husband and wife feeling less then excited.
The solution to this ever growing problem with couples that do love each other and value their marriage it beneficial to seek help to improve the sex again. As a sex therapist, one of the greatest goals that I can give to my clients who really want to improve their sex lives is the tools to do it. The topic of sexless marriage is still taboo even among couples that have been together for many years. In fact the longer the couples have been together the more difficult it can be to communicate their feelings surrounding sex, leaving some marriages too just become sexless.
The couple feels invested in the relationship not wanting to hurt the other spouse’s feelings or embarrassed to express themselves about their lack of fun in the bedroom. This is where a trained professional can help to break down the barriers; help the couple explore other ways of pleasing each other sexually. For women and men getting into the habit of just having sex as a duty instead of it being adventurous, a pleasure or a naughty fun time, results in sexless relationships for months or even years.
When working with clients I have them fill out a short sexual history, then we meet one on one then back again as a couple. The process is not a long or drawn out therapy session but one that involves home work, solutions, and education. After a few sessions many clients report a new sense of freedom in the relationship an awaking like they just meet their spouse for the first time again. On the other hand there are those occasional couples that may find out that they are not sexually compatible and it is an eye opening experience.
The rise in sexless marriage is only one that is going to increase, with couples cheating and getting divorced. For those couples that still love each and feel that working on the sex will improve their marriage then it is worth getting the professional help needed, those are the ones that succeeded.
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