The decision to divorce usually comes as an emotionally devastating solution to an even more emotionally devastating relationship. Though others can offer helpful insights and ask important questions, for your complex situation and the unique persons involved, no one, in the end, can pretend to have the right answer for you. If you reach a point at which clearly divorce offers the best possibility for moving forward productively and peacefully, and if you both have the desire to minimize the damage to each other and children you may have, consider mediation instead of legal battles. A mediation service can offer invaluable resources of compassion and insight, as well as financial tools to assist you in determining as much of a win-win situation as possible. An excellent local one http://coloradodivorcemediation.com/
This author offers several important insights: “Marriage and the family are a natural extension of the initial human condition…it completes one’s growth, positively or negatively. And then what? Does one jump off a cliff, or else mark time for the rest of one’s years? Does the choice lie between terminating the marriage and lapsing into a coma of experience? There is an alternative, but it is hard. Perhaps the deepest obligation of life is to put off what is outgrown, even when it was true in its day and has served us well, and to achieve as much reality as we are individually capable of” (p. 106). “It is possible for such full-scale development to occur within the framework of marriage, but not if the framework is substituted for the development itself” (p. 108). “Wanting something is not wicked, it is human; and to renounce one’s humanity with the expectation of being admired and cherished for it is at least illogical. Self-sacrifice can sometimes be an evasion of maturity” (p. 116). “What the adult learns is that each moral choice is unique and cannot be made on the basis of past choices. Life will ultimately make hay of any prefabricated system of thought, and the adult who clings to it anyhow avoids the rough work of thinking and his own maturity” (p. 95). “I implore you: trust your instincts. One pays a terrible price for a system or rule or authority that will always tell one what to do, and what is worse, what to think. The loss of insight is the blackest of all losses” (p. 115). Source: Drury, M. (1968). Advice to a young wife from an old mistress. Garden City, NY: Doubleday and Company.
Comments