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The cryptic friend

Does your friend speak with a forked tongue?
Does your friend speak with a forked tongue?FreeDigitalPhotos.net

Subtle digs, vague innuendos, and back handed compliments.  Profound quotes thrown out for you to decipher on a daily basis.  She plays the role of a friend and then has a hidden meaning behind the comments that she makes. 

The old adage stands true; most of all with friends... "If you have something to say, just say it!"

There are two types of cryptic friends:

  • The one who always casts blame and tries to make you accountable for every situation that has befallen her, and
  • the one who elevates herself with snide remarks that ultimately put you down. 

Basically, If she has a beef or a concern, she should address the problem head on and be done with it.  If she feels she's superior to all those around her, then own it and shout it from the rooftops.  By her speaking in riddles, she leaves you no other option but to assume that these remarks are purposely intended to make you feel inferior or to cause you to question what it is that you have done to offend her.  The bottom line is that no matter what you did or didn't do, you deserve the right to rebut with an intelligent and open conversation versus cryptic slights randomly thrown into the air. 

To deal with these situations it's best to either adopt the "I really don't care what your problem is" attitude or, if you care enough, then ask her what the comment was supposed to mean?

Know that this personality flaw can become extremely exhausting.  To constantly have to pull the hidden meaning out of one's words is like working a puzzle.  Sometimes it's fun, but most of the time it's frustrating and completely not worth too much of your valuable time and effort. 

Take a step back and really evaluate this friend.  Does she do this on a continuous basis?  When you figure out what she means, is she valid in her concerns?  Does she come off as having a "holier than thou" attitude with these cryptic digs? 

Based on your answers, you may then want to ask yourself a question.   Why on earth are you friends with HER?  Hmmm, just saying.... It may be time to get a pair of scissors and cut your loses.

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Comments

  • Susan Mangigian 4 years ago

    Friendship should enhance not detract from your pleasures in life. Friends like this need to go into the used from bin. Great article, as always, Ronnie!! xxoo