As Valentine’s Day approaches you tend to not only stress out about what to get your significant other or interest, but how much it’s costing. Overspending on gifts and dates, can leave you feeling stressed and unappreciated, as well as make the other person uncomfortable.
It’s Just Lunch, a dating service for busy professionals surveyed 3,968 singles on their dating spending habits:
- 51% of men in the U.S. spend more than $100 a month on dates, and 29% spend more than $150 (figures were higher for bigger cities)
- 66.7% of women in the U.S spend less than $50 a month on dates
- $600-1,200 per year spent on dates (not including preparation or gifts)
- $419 per year on average for gifts and flowers
Jennifer Lopez got it right when she wrote her hit single, “Love don’t cost a thing.” A poll done by ING Direct, found men on average overestimated how much was expected of them. Men believed that $108 was appropriate for a night out, while most women said $27 to $85 was an appropriate range. There was also a consensus from the women, that the most memorable dates did not involve a lot of money. Attraction, lust, and love, are not persuaded by the amount of money you spend, but what you do in-between spending it.
Good rules for the initial stages of dating are to do things that are inexpensive, you would have done normally, or would want to do on your own (i.e. make grocery shopping a joint venture and lead to a home cooked meal, have a fashion show while shopping for clothes, go on a scavenger hunt for a specific topic at a book store, act like tourists and go sightseeing, etc.). Special occasions, such as Valentine’s Day, do require a more romantic theme, but even then, do not go overboard. For example, floral shops tend to overcharge, and expensive restaurants are not that romantic. Instead, try personally delivering grocery store bought flowers, or a home cooked meal to candle light.
It’s also a good rule of thumb on initial dates, to take care of the bill (another reason to focus on inexpensive activities). During the date, bring up the discussion of payment in order to settle any misconceptions. Jokingly mention that he or she owes you dinner next time, or the societal rule that men should pay, and gauge his or her response. It is important to keep your dates simple but creative; the focus of the date should be about getting to know each other.
Consider this, the cost of getting married and starting a family with two kids is $651,306 on average in the U.S. For example, on average, weddings cost $20,000, honeymoons $4,466, a new home $173,000 and children $226,920 per kid (not including college). Compared to the costs of settling down with someone and starting a family, dating and relationships are inexpensive and have much more flexibility in terms of cost. Focus on enjoying getting to know someone more intimately, creatively, and inexpensively, and save worrying about money for when it really matters.
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Benjamin Ritter found his passion in social dynamics and personal development through his pursuit for a better life, combined with interest in the field of public health. If you enjoyed this article, please subscribe for future updates at the top of the page, and share it with your friends using the social media links on this page. Also, please feel free to directly contact me with any comments or questions at RitterBenjamin@gmail.com.
*Edited by Rachel Ritter
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