Finding someone to settle down with has become extremely hard in today’s society. We have to deal with a lot of competition and that makes the search a difficult task, this was the case for a young lady that wanted very much to settle down with a worthy companion. She was an attractive down to earth young woman with a promising career. Most of her relationships ended in disappointment, and she began to wonder if she should give up on the idea of finding the right man, but then she met him, the man she would give her heart and love to. She was ecstatic; she finally met a guy that was perfect for her. He was kind, and he seemed to be attentive to her needs. He made her believe in the power of love and finally her search was over. It’s funny how sometimes the very people we hold dear to us can be the ones to tear us down. It was a cold December afternoon when she found the two of them. She left work early, in order to prepare a special dinner for her significant other. He seemed so preoccupied with a project he had been working on, and lately they had no time for those intimate moments that she loved so much. She decided to prepare the meal at his place, she used the key he had given her to let herself in, she entered the kitchen, placed the bags on the counter, and became puzzled when she noticed his keys hanging on the hook next to the refrigerator. With a smile she headed toward the sound of the shower running, she opened the bathroom door, and there he stood, staring at her, his chocolate body still dripping with water, waiting for her reaction but there was none. She could only look past him and see the round bodied woman scuffling to cover herself with a towel, this was not her man, the one who placed a beautiful ring on her finger, the one who vowed to love her always and give her the world, and how could he have destroyed so quickly the love that took three years to build up? But there it was the man and his lie, caught with her best friend. It was as if she was standing in the midst of a quiet storm, a storm that claimed the love she believed in, the man she adored, and the friend that was a sister to her.
Many have found themselves in this same situation, either they have caught their mate cheating or they have been the ones doing the cheating, and have been caught. Is it possible to move on, to learn to trust again; is it even possible to restore the relationship after such an encounter? Relationships do recover from such an experience but it takes a measure of forgiveness, and understanding. The cheater needs to understand why he /she cheated in the first place. Recognizing the truth in his/her actions will not only promote behavioral changes, it will also clarify why the behavior exist. The one betrayed deals with the most difficult decision which is forgiveness that entails moving past the situation, and focusing on restructuring the relationship. The one betrayed should also search to understand why his/her mate cheat if the relationship is to be salvaged. Rebuilding a relationship after an infidelity is not easy and it is not done over night, in most cases the relationship scatters leaving the pieces impossible to recover.
For those that decide to move on, do so with certainty that this is what you want and the relationship is over. Take time to heal because the last thing you want to do is transport feelings of resentment into another relationship. For the most part, cheating evades the likelihood of a trusting relationship that is why it is important to allow time to heal. Seek comfort from friends and family that are willing to be there for you. Clear your mind and move on, accept that this has happened but focus on the healing process, and remember it is not your loss; it is the cheater’s loss.
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