October 10, 2009
A gentleman from Venice Beach is facing a conundrum with his long distance girlfriend in San Francisco. In the next few months he wants to travel the world and he’d like to have a few flings while he’s out and about. His girlfriend has said that she doesn’t mind having an open relationship with him while he’s gone, but she’d still like to have a relationship. He’s not sure he can be present in his travels if he has to email, text, IM, call, webcam or otherwise check in with a significant other. He prefers the idea of picking up this relationship when he returns to LA in several months, if it seems worth picking up again.
We have as a society moved away from the happily ever after of fairy tales, where a boy meets a girl and instantly wedding bells ring. Nowadays there’s an infinite variety of ways to work out a relationship. Most routes are not direct, and may involve several stops and starts along the way.
In a situation such as the one with the gentleman from Venice, a battle of the sexes is likely playing out. He is probably testing her response to his plans for travel and seeing how much she squirms when he mentions the possibility of being with other women. He may want her to prove how much she cares for him by suggesting something else that involves her presence in his life. Alternatively, he may be looking for a way out of the relationship by forming a scenario that he knows cannot work with her.
There really isn’t an easy way to find out that you’re in love. Long distance relationships are always a great test of a relationship’s power. If the man from Venice is truly in love, he will have trouble getting the presence of his girlfriend from San Francisco out of his mind no matter whether he is in contact with her or not while he travels. He may have to find out the hard way that she is who he is thinking about, regardless of who he is with. If he is able to forget about his girlfriend easily, then the relationship wouldn’t have had staying power anyways.
Ultimately a long distance relationship has to turn into a short distance relationship if it is destined to last. How long that will take or how many twists and turns there will be along the way, only those involved can decide.