Our life is a direct reflection of our relationships. Healthy relationships produce a good harvest and evaluate us while negative relationships leave us starving and stranded. We can never escape the business of having relationships and since we cannot, we must become wiser. Any successful business will have a specific service to offer with principles in which they conduct business and core values they choose to live by. For example, though a business may have the same purpose, the way they conduct business over time will change. For that reason, we must ask ourselves what do we have offer to another person in a relationship, what principles will we stand upon, and what core values will we live by no matter what? Relationships can be built upon any foundation we choose, but healthy relationships that last are built on principles, i.e. laws or facts. If you desire an honest and sincere relationship you have to govern yourself according to the truth. You cannot lie about who you are to yourself and others still expecting a genuine relationship. We often look for something in others that we should be giving to ourselves. As a result, we enter relationships out of our weaknesses instead of our strengths, which will most likely result in failure.
Take for instance the hit TV show Scandal. Olivia Pope and the President have built their relationships upon the weakness of their emotions and sexual desires. The President and Olivia Pope are both powerful people, but they are seeking love in the wrong places. The President is obviously unhappy with his marriage and instead of dealing with his marriage and either devoting his time and will to his wife or getting a divorce, he continues to live a lie. Olivia Pope could have any man she wants but since she is seeking fulfillment in a married man, in which she knows is off limits, she clings to the President’s every desire. Both characters are crippled despite their success. We look at this show and shake our heads, but that same cycle will happen to us if we build our relationships on a foundation of lies.
We don’t want to be lonely, so we enter a relationship with the wrong person. We feel insecure about ourselves so even though we know the person is no good, we still enter into the relationship to feel some sense of security. We know we should leave a bad relationship but we stay in it because we don’t feel a sense of self-worth or value. The underlining problem is the same... the desire for someone else to fulfill us in an area that we must learn to fulfill ourselves. In order to conduct the business of relationships, we first must adhere to the business of taking care of ourselves. And how do I learn to take care of myself? You learn to love yourself for the good and the bad. You learn how to embrace your own beauty and your own flaws. You learn to appreciate the fact that God created you to be unique and special and respect yourself. You don’t wait on anyone to call you beautiful; you recognize the beauty within your own spirit, body, and soul. Learn to love the person in the mirror. You may be able to love, but you will not be able to experience the fullness of love until you learn to love your own soul.
Once you learn how to value yourself, then you can establish some principles to protect the precious jewel in which you are. Many of us don’t know how to value ourselves because we don’t know where our value comes from. Our value and worth comes from God. Until we take the time to learn the Creator of our value, we will struggle with handling the business of our relationships.
1. Don't expect someone to give or do something for you that you should be doing for yourself.
2. Relationships can be built on any foundation, but the relationships that are going to last will be built upon stable foundations of morals, values, and principles.
3. In order to experience the fullness of love you must be able to love the person in the mirror.
4. Relationships are a business; make the proper investment in yourself first and foremost.
5. A better relationship with God will translate to better relationships with other people.
Written By: Deaushay Watts
©2014 Deaushay L. Watts
“Follow the inspiration”
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