Some idiot, sorry this is my column, who observed his bulldog hunched over another male dog and decided his pet was gay, dropped said canine off at a pound.
A place called a "kill shelter."
The dog was slated to be, euphemism please, destroyed by one p.m. yesterday. Thanks to an online campaign, the shelter was inundated with calls.
Stop snickering. This is a serious matter. What could be worse than homosexuality in the animal kingdom?
Cross dressers. The cat that saunters in with fish scales. Birds sporting fur. How about foxes with stripes and spots?
But in regard to animals forced to don costumes: the fault lies with the owners. The dog shown above is not gay but sadly the victim of unnatural cuteness.
Back to the problem at hand.
Don’t get this column started on the problem of polyglot pets. Cats that bark and fish that chirp.
There are some feral felines in the neighborhood who are clearly Muslim. They eschew tobacco products and point their tails toward Mecca daily.
And of course the cabal of dogs on the west side, intent on passing legislation to ban assault rifles. They feel as man’s best friend, they want to help.
A flock of birds in the suburbs appear to be atheists and most cats are elitist.
Raccoons pal around with terrorists and rats cause disease.
Okay, the last part is true. The reference to disease not terrorists.
For the love of all that is holy, stop imposing human prejudice on animals.
Maybe the dog in Tennessee looked at his owner and thought the man was a moron.
Remember the old joke: a dyslectic thinks Dog is God.
One never knows.