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The British yen for Chocolate

A British chocoholic's dream stash
A British chocoholic's dream stash
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We’ve always known the British adore their sweets. Look at their dental records. The British love of chocolate has a long and storied history going back to the obvious similarities between the Stonehenge monuments and the popular Cadbury’s Dairy Milk® chocolate bar. The outer wrappers have long since been weathered away but when the sun rises during the summer solstice you can discern part of the ingredients label and some bits of foil.

How did the Brits come to be a chocoholic nation?

The famous ‘Battle of Maltesers Malted Milk Balls and Bassetts Licorice Allsorts near the Village of Salsbury in the summer of 1565 decided once and for all the conflict between the older licorice loving Nobles and younger chocolate craving teens. The Earl of Sandwich was forced to cede his seat on the prestigious ‘Board of Eatery of the Throne of England’ to make way for what was to be a revolution that fueled weight gain throughout the English countryside.

Current history includes Cambridge, a quite prestigious University you may have heard about. Cambridge doesn’t know what to do with their money and is seeking a "Doctor of Chocolate" to spend three and a half years eating, testing and probably coping with an obesity issue as a result of the ‘course work.’

The study also seeks a researcher familiar with nuts, fruits and caramel to assist the researcher in extending the study and hopefully adding the word ‘chocolate’ to the Broadway hit ‘Oliver’s’ song ‘Food Glorious food.’

The successful candidate won't just be indulging themselves in a Willy Wonka fantasy. They'll also have to have a top degree in physics, chemistry or engineering and an overwhelming need for chocolate.

The person will be tasked with investigating "the factors which allow chocolate, which has a melting point close to that of the human body, to remain solid and retain qualities sought by consumers when it is stored and sold in warm climates”

In other words, don’t keep a chocolate bar in your pocket or purse when the weather or your body temperature is around 98.6.

The catch is that only the British can apply.

The listing adds the position will be “mainly experimental” and that a dental plan is included.

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