Nursing-in public or not-tends to be an extremely hot topic. After having my son, I noted the shocked looks and downright dirty stares from people. My lactation consultant at the hospital was less than helpful, telling me I'd quit within two weeks. I even had people telling me it was 'dirty' or 'unnatural'.
However, my research had shown me that the World Health Organization actually recommends nursing exclusively for the first six months, with complimentary solids included from six months until two years or beyond. Nursing can lower the instances of common childhood diseases that account for some child mortality. There were benefits for me, too-rates of breast and ovarian cancer are decreased for the nursing mother, and nursing mothers can get back to their pre-pregnancy size faster than non-nursing mothers. The issue is so important that there's actually an international code to regulate the sale of breastmilk substitutes- a code that is broken constantly by hospitals, obstetrician's offices, and formula companies.
There are obvious downsides to nursing-feeding on-demand means a lot of time spent with a child at the breast, hindering the ability to return to work. Mastitis, a painful infection of the breast, can often end a nursing relationship. Keeping up a good milk supply for your baby can be challenging as well.
While breastfeeding is often seen as the cornerstone of attachment parenting, it is definitely not a requirement. Plenty of attachment parents use formula. It's use is not indicative of "not caring" about their baby. The mother in question might have a trauma in her past that is exacerbated by nipple stimulation. She may be on medication that is not cleared for use during nursing. Perhaps she needed to return to work and her milk dried up from being unable to nurse or pump, as many workplaces do not have safe, sanitary conditions for pumping and storage. She may have been pressured by family or her significant other to stop.
Maybe she just didn't want to. At the end of the day, her body is still her own. Women are perfectly capable of making informed decisions about things that involve their own bodies, and their autonomy will trump any person's percieved "right" to it. A lack of nursing does not make one a bad parent, as long as a safe, sanitary breastmilk substitute is being used in it's place.
While the number of nursing mothers has gone up over the years, still only one in three children is breastfed until six months of age. The attitudes I described above in my first paragraph contribute to that and can be attributed to the heavy sexualization of the woman's breast in Western society. The fact is, breasts are there to feed offspring, same as in any other mammal in the animal kingdom.
It can be difficult for those of us who nurse to face the negativity. A new child should be a happy event, but all too often nursing mothers are immediately and unrelentingly attacked for the decision to breastfeed. A polite "I'm sorry you feel that way, but this is my child and I will feed him/her as I see fit," is generally enough to establish the point to relatives. A slightly more incredulous "That's what they're for," works well for nosy strangers. Every nursing mother helps to normalize it simply by doing it.
I'm going on three years nursing my son, and it's not an experience I would trade for anything. I know that personally, seeing me nurse or hearing me talk about it like it's completely normal has really helped women I am close to who made the decision to nurse after talking to me. There's been tears, pain, soreness, struggles with milk supply, and the aforementioned dirty looks (that only got dirtier as he got older)-yet I do not regret a moment of it.
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