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Children living with autism are not known for giving hugs. So, what does a mother do? The following is a story told by Elaine Brown, who wanted a hug from her daughter, Lisa. Mrs. Brown contacted me by email. Here is her story:
I know from personal experience that hugging a child with autism can be an uncomfortable experience. The child tends to push away and does not want a hug. Yet, I wanted it. I wanted Lisa to hug me.
However, opportunity did come whenever I gave my child a bath. I would wrap the towel around her and carefully dry her off. She would lean against me placing her hands on my shoulders. It was as close as I thought I would ever come in receiving a hug from Lisa.
Despite, Lisa avoiding close contact with me, I spent time with her. I decided to become part of her imaginary world. Lisa was tremendously fond of ‘the little ponies’ and ‘Miss Piggy.’ So, whenever the opportunity came, I would join in giving these characters a voice.
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Since I enjoyed reading, I wanted to introduce Lisa to literature. I can still remember the first book I shared with her, The Little Mouse, The Red Ripe Strawberry, and The Big Hungry Bear. I shared only a few pages with Lisa, before she got up to play with her toys. I thought I was only talking to myself and placed the book on the top shelf in the closet and walked out of Lisa’s bedroom.
Later, I heard Lisa moving a chair. I came into her room and she was standing on the chair trying to reach the book. Well, I learned that day, Lisa had listened to the story and she liked it. In the future, I was able to share more books with Lisa and she learned to read.
The first hug Lisa gave me was when she was eight years old. It was early one morning when she walked into the room and approached my side of the bed. She stretched her arms out, leaned over and held me tight. She walked over to the other side of the bed and gave her father a hug, too.
On a few occasions, for no reason at all, Lisa would give her father and me a hug. Those moments I will always treasure and hold dear to my heart.
Update on Lisa:
In 2008, Lisa graduated from college with honors. She was taking a nutritional supplement, but has decided to try spirulina. Soda and beef are not part of her diet. Lisa has a state job in nutritional services and is working on an MBA.
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