Ask any college-age person and they’ll tell you without blinking that your best value for a beer buzz is anything in a 30 pack that happens to be on sale. “Natty!!!!” may be spontaneously blurted out. A muffled, “Old Milwaukee!!!” may rise up from beneath the pile of empties and spent pizza boxes from behind the futon.
Gotta hand it to our spunky college kids! They would certainly do a better job of running the US Economy than the Bozos we have in congress, but that doesn’t mean they’ve done an once (or 12oz) of beer research.
Our future leaders have the misguided assumption that more, cheaper beer equates to the value of; “The Beer Buzz per Buck”
Let’s break this down with some simplistic beer-related math.
Let’s compare two completely different 12oz beers and then create a numerical alcoholic value based on the price per beer.
We’ll use Natty Light as our example. Natty Light weighs in at 4.2% Alcohol by Volume (ABV). The numbers we’ll deal with are ABV x 12oz of beer, divided by the cost of the 12oz beer.
Let’s start by multiplying 4.2 (% ABV) x 12 (ounces) = 50.4 Next divide that sum by .60 (the cost per 12oz Natty Light) = 84 Points
So, 84 is our buzz per buck value for a can of Natural Light.
Next, let’s compare a 12oz Bourbon County Brand Stout (drool splatters near my keyboard) which weighs in at 15% ABV but costs $2.00 per bottle. Using the same formula as before: 15 (% ABV) x 12 (ounces) = 180 divided by $2.00 = 90 Points
And the winner is Great Beer 90 points to Swill Beer 84 points
As every clear-headed individual can see, I have fudged the price of these two beers a little to support my argument. Hopefully you can see the larger point. You get very nearly the same buzz per buck by drinking an “expensive” strong and flavorful beer as you can by drinking loads of cheap shitty beer.
Here’s another example I dug up online from Oak Hill Beverages in Scarborough, Maine. A Keg of Michelob Ultra (“premium” beer) at 4.1% ABV will run you around $125. You can get a Keg of Geary’s Hampshire Special at 7% ABV for $145. You do the math…I’m drinking beer now. Or just round things out in your head like me. It’s not even close! The way better beer is also the way better value…and I’m not just talking buzz value here.
No one is recommending you perform a keg stand with any beer stronger than say, 7% ABV, but you can fully enjoy the buzz created by a couple real beers just as much as the buzz created by loads of adjunct suds, plus you’ll save yourself plenty of unnecessary trips to the bathroom.
Warning: Please don’t try playing Beer Pong with Bourbon County Brand Stout! It may dishtort ur vishion anb makm shpellin missshtakesss helpnhappyhairpinhappl?&%^9gloopnlopzzzzz