The nine hour finale takes place in Thailand, we get to see their entire trip. Surprise! Sean meets up with his parents and sister and all of her kids. Catherine is the first of the girls to arrive. Sean greets her with no shoes, and then Catherine enters the house barefoot also. "My mom said you have to take off your shoes in the house."
Catherine confesses she used to be a professional male soccer player.
Catherine meets with Sean's mom and then Sean's dad. Nails the answers; sincere without being creepy. Take note ASHLEE.
Sean's dad tells Catherine that if Sean picks her he will be her biggest fan, and Catherine tears up, and all the other ladies in the room and I tear up too. A definite first. And then we see Sean's dad's jeans and the moment is over.
Next, Lindsey arrives to Sean's parents' house. She sounds more retarded than I recall from previous episodes. I feel like she's wearing a retainer or something, but maybe I've never heard her talk this much before.
Sean's dad tells Lindsey he and his wife have prayed for Sean's wife since the day Sean was born. Seems like a bit much. Like, out of everything to pray for... health, happiness, success... no, they pray for his wife. A baby's wife.
Lindsey asks Sean's dad for Sean's hand in marriage. He says no. Or should say no.
Like, how does Lindsey make it this far?
"I've never met a family like thisefore, thith is so great that I jiscan't ethribe it!" - Lindsey
If Sean and Lindsey were walking down the street hand in hand, people would shoot at them.
Sean talks to his mom to hear her opinion and she starts crying. Sean is so nice and takes her on a walk, but I can't hear what they're talking about because my friend is talking about wanting Sean's sperm.
What's with everyone in Sean's family wearing such bright colors? Why is Sean dressed like a five year old boy named Sam?
Lindsey and Sean sit on a boat type raft in some water and Sean tells Lindsey all the there is to know about Thailand. He specializes in Thailand. They eat dinner in a canopy and Lindsey asks Sean what they'll look like when they're old. Lindsey, if you're reading this, its not always "Sean and I," sometimes it IS "Sean and me."
Like, if Lindsey could get Sean to like her, so could I, or anyone.
The way Lindsey talks sounds like a weird character in a movie, about a girl talking about how it was the best summer of her life even though she never saw her summer camp friends again.
Catherine shows up on the next date in a shirt that I wouldn't have worn on my last date before judgment day and they get to wear elephant pants. That elephant ride looks awesome, but if one of them falls they both fall because Sean is penetrating Catherine on top of that elephant.
I want to kiss the elephant, he's such a sweet baby. Sean takes Catherine to another canopy and Catherine's voice is so refreshing to hear after Lindsey's stupid voice.
Catherine and Sean have some champagne and talk about Bachelor things.
Catherine couldn't not see Sean proposing. Wait... okay, it does make sense.
She says I love you. Sean says thank you and cops a feel of her arse.
He leaves, but then comes back to make sure she had fun on the elephants earlier that day.
Elephant ride > floating in a swamp.
Sean walks around without a shirt. Chris Harrison def shaves Sean's stomach.
Lindsey wears a silver disco prom dress and Catherine wears a gold disco prom dress, and they meet Sean at the hottest discoteca Thailand has to offer. Just kidding, they meet on the balcony of a poor Thai witch.
Back at the studio, Chris Harrison interviews some rejectees. Why does he interview Jackie? Like who is Jackie? Why does she have the longest interview?
Back on the show, Lindsey is the first one to ask for Sean's hand in marriage.
I hate Sean's speech, like its so misleading. Her smile is getting so big. And then he dumps her. I would jump into the water and thrash around if I was Lindsey. She takes off her shoes and sprints ahead of Sean. Sean has to walk ten feet behind her at all times. Rules of Thailand.
Lindsey opts for sarcasm in her farewell speech. I didn't receive it will. She's basically sad that she's alone, not because of Sean. She just wanted a man to be senior citizens with.
Back at the studio, Chris messes up and says "that was a tough break for Catherine," STUPID CHRIS. He obviously can't handle a live recording.
Catherine writes Sean a nice note and Sean proposes and they ride away on a sad little sweetie baby elephant.
I can't believe he picked Catherine.
He seems so happy, like a golden retriever.
Sean tells Lindsey he still lights up when he thinks about her. F*** that.
As I'm listening to Lindsey talk, I'm literally dumbfounded that she made it to runner up. Like over Dez? What?
She keeps asking WHY! WHY SEAN? WHY! So finally, Sean has to blame it on god because she can't accept any of his answers.
Then Catherine comes out and they talk about nice things.
Dez comes out and reveals she's going to be the next Bachelorette. Based on this conversation, I'm not excited for Dez's season, but I am happy that Chris Harrison made her cut off her bangs.